She couldn’t stand the smell of Anthony on her skin, the taste of his tongue lingering in her mouth. She went to the outdoor shower and made herself vomit. She brushed her teeth and soaped herself, then stood under the stream of water until the heat ran out. She wrapped herself in a towel, still feeling dirty from what she couldn’t wash away. She thought about going back into her bedroom, but she couldn’t stand the idea of being alone. There were two stairwells to the attic, one by the living room and another on the front side of the house behind the big fireplace. If she went up the steps by the fireplace her parents wouldn’t hear, so she lifted the metal thumb latch and crept up the narrow stairs.

Michael was surprised to see her. He sat up in his bed, his chest bare and hairless the way a young man’s chest should be. It was nothing like Anthony’s.

“Ann? What are you doing up here?”

“Can I just lie with you?”

“No way. Your parents.”

“I don’t want to be alone. Please, Michael? You’re the only person I want to see right now. You don’t know how much you mean to me.”

He scooted over to one side of his twin bed. She rolled in next to him, grateful he was there. Maybe this was why she pushed so hard for her parents to adopt him; she knew she’d need him. He put his hand on her bare shoulder and she pulled away.

“You OK? What happened?”

“Can we not talk?” She turned out the light so he wouldn’t see her weep.

“Is this about the other day? I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Just shut up. Please?”

“It isn’t a good idea for you to be up here.”

“I don’t care.”

Ann closed her eyes and listened to Michael’s steady breathing. She longed to go back to a place that no longer existed, to a feeling she could never capture again.

A FEW HOURS LATER SHE WOKE to the sound of the door slamming and Poppy laughing maniacally. “Two hundred dollars! I found two hundred dollars cash right at the base of our driveway! Kurt Cobain left it for me. He’s alive, you know. He’s in Wellfleet!”

“Poppy,” Ann’s mom said, “you’re high. What are you on?”

“I’m on life! Check it out, Mama! Two hundred bucks! I mean, it was just right there. The walls, the walls. Can you see them move? Did you know they did that? They’re talking.”

“Where were you? Who were you with? Where’s your sister?”

The next thing Ann heard was her dad’s feet clomping up the narrow attic steps. “Michael, have you seen Ann? I don’t think she came home and Poppy’s—”