‘I miss everything about my life before my hip started to crumble and decay. Shame is, I didn’t realize I was happy at the time. When the time comes that I can’t get out and about anymore, I’ll probably just get into my bed and smoke twenty a day until I drop dead or set fire to myself.’

‘I might join you.’

‘What, in my bed?’

‘No, on the cigarettes. I miss them too.’

Another silence while Grace poured a little bit of beer into the plate on the floor for Lassoo to drink.

At that moment my phone rang. It was not a number that I recognized. I answered it anyway.

‘Hello?’ I recognized her voice immediately.

It was Satsuma.

‘Hi there, how are you doing?’ I replied, my heart skipping a beat and even the longest hairs on my shoulders trying to stand to attention.

‘I’m fine, thanks. Just wanted to give you a ring and apologize for being a bit standoffish at my flat. I didn’t mean to be rude, it’s just I’ve got a lot going on at the moment.’

‘Hey, not at all, it was lovely to see you.’

From her seat at the table, Grace blurted out, ‘Oh God, it’s her.’

I shot her a look of pretend anger and shushed her with my middle finger over my lips.

‘Sorry, have you got company? I’ll let you go,’ said Satsuma.

‘No, no, no,’ I replied as I walked through to the bedroom in an attempt to get out of Grace’s earshot. ‘Not at all. It’s just my neighbour, Grace. She popped round to chat about a flash drive I gave her in the shape of a corn cob. She’s trying to hack the password, so as you can imagine it’s far from riveting.’

‘Are you a spy or something? Or one of those people that nicks money from online bank accounts? I could do with a bit of that action at the moment.’

‘No, it’s just work stuff. It belongs to Brendan – you know, that bloke I was in the pub with.’

‘Solicitor stuff?’

‘Yeah.’

I couldn’t think of anything to say. Why the fuck had I started to talk about dongles? I didn’t know how to get back on track. In the end, she helped me out, bless her.

‘So, did you really like the plastic flowers on the bike wheel outside the flat?’

‘Oh shit yeah. It was upcycling using an actual cycle, and that’s got to knock anyone out.’

At this moment Grace appeared at the bedroom doorway and began to repeatedly mouth the word ‘boyfriend’. I turned my face away from hers but she stepped further into the room so that I couldn’t easily ignore her presence. I continued chatting while ushering her into the hallway and out of the flat, shutting the door behind her.