‘I haven’t touched your boyfriend, and anyway, he said that you two—’

I didn’t get to finish my sentence as she struck me full on the cheek and nose with an epic forearm smash. I hit the ground then looked up to see her leaning over me as she said, ‘You ugly stuck-up bitch.’ With that, she spat in my face and walked away, her friends laughing at the sheer excitement of the violence.

Although our paths crossed a few times that week, Pete and I didn’t speak, and I assumed that Haslett had frightened him off. I didn’t text him in case she was policing his phone. If you were an enemy of hers, then life at school was always going to be a curse. The following Sunday I went to get the newspaper again without any expectation that Pete would be hanging around to see me. On my way back I sat on the seafront bench for old times’ sake and watched the seagulls argue with each other over yesterday’s seagull football results. Out of the blue he appeared beside me and put his arm around my shoulder. He handed me a long dusty jelly snake from his pocket. ‘I got you this – you know, by way of an apology. I should have thrown those photos away. I’m really sorry.’

‘You said you didn’t have a girlfriend, so what was that all about?’

‘No, I said I didn’t “officially” have a girlfriend.’

‘What does that even mean?’

‘It means that we act like a couple but for me it’s just an informal arrangement.’

‘Well, she clearly doesn’t feel the same. She called you her boyfriend just moments before she punched me full pelt in my face.’

‘Shit, I’m so sorry about that, but I can’t be held responsible for the fact that she’s unstable.’

‘Have you actually told her that you don’t consider yourself to be her boyfriend?’

‘Yes, but it doesn’t make any difference. I think she’s used to getting her own way.’

‘Are you scared of her?’

‘Not scared of her as such, but scared of the consequences of getting on her bad side.’

‘So, you’re a coward?’

‘Yeah, that would be fair, but a good-looking one.’

‘Do you think I’m good-looking?’ I asked just for the hell of it.

‘Ten times better looking than you realize.’

We both stared out to sea in silence for a few moments as I tried to drum up the courage to say what I really wanted to. A seagull landed on the bollard in front of us and stared me straight in the eye. ‘Who’s the coward now?’ it seemed to be saying. I took up the challenge and blurted it out: