I always got a rush of anxiety whenever I had to walk past a stationary bloke. I didn’t like my chest being examined as I approached and I could always sense their eyes boring into my arse as I walked away. It was worse with Pete because, like most other girls, I fancied the pants off him. He had turned his gaze directly towards me as I approached. I started to become hyper-aware of my gait and stride the nearer I got to him. By the time I was within earshot of him, I was walking like a chimp with a leg brace. As I got closer, he stretched out his legs in front of him.

‘Hi, Emily,’ he said. ‘Have you shit your pants or something?’

‘Yeah,’ I replied, ‘I like to start the day off with a bang.’

‘Ha, that’s funny, funny and smart. So, what are you doing out and about this early on Jesus’s day?’

‘Just buying the newspaper.’

‘I love the news. One day I’m going to be on the front page of all the newspapers. You’ll be able to point at the article and say, “I had a chat with this guy on the seafront once”, and people will take a sudden interest in you. Do you believe me?’

‘Yeah, I believe you, Pete.’

‘Damn right. Come on, have a sit-down for a minute. Let’s have a look at the news together.’

‘No, I’d better get back. My dad is waiting for his newspaper so he can look important while Mum and I do all the cleaning.’

‘Bad Daddy, he’s a lazy Daddy. Come on, have a seat for five minutes. I’ve always wanted to have a chat with you and find out where you’re coming from. Do you believe me?’

He patted the seat of the bench next to him and I succumbed.

‘Go on,’ he said, ‘pick out a story that interests you and read it out loud. If it piques my interest, we could have a chat about it.’

‘Okay, but then I’ve got to go.’

I flicked through the paper and came across an article about how the dog population of a town in India is being terrorized by a maverick troop of monkeys.

‘You interested in monkeys?’ I asked.

‘Maybe, maybe not, depends on the monkey context. Give it a go and I’ll tell you.’

I started to read the article. After a couple of paragraphs, he interrupted me:

‘Nah, I’m not interested, but I am interested in you, Emily.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I’m told you’ve been nicking makeup from the shops and flogging it at school, and I must say that sort of behaviour intrigues me. Why wouldn’t it? Who would have thought that gorgeous little Emily Baker was a pilferer?’