Boiler Suit Man stood up and arched his back to relieve some distress. He stared in my direction for a few moments and wiped his hands down the front of his cotton romper. He gave his arse a good scratch and started to walk towards me. I opened my window ready to greet him. He was becoming a problem for me – a right nosy parker. The devil took hold of me and I retrieved the little bag of dog biscuits I had forgotten to give to Grace from my pocket. I opened them and placed a few on my centre console. I put a drop of the eucalyptus nasal spray on each one.

‘Alright, mate?’ I asked as soon as he arrived at my window.

‘I thought it was you. What you doing parked up here again without a residents’ permit?’

‘I’m just picking up my girlfriend. She’ll be down in a minute.’

‘Hard for me to believe you’ve got a girlfriend, mate. Is she tiny as well?’

‘Good one.’

He leant down into the window so that his face filled the empty space. He chewed at the side of his mouth as he scanned around the interior of the car. His breath smelt of pork scratchings and custard. Eventually he spoke again:

‘You know that herbal tea you were drinking?’

‘Yeah, I remember.’

‘It’s been on my mind ever since. It was a very unique aroma – incredibly rich and deep for a herbal product.’

‘I agree – and believe me, it definitely delivers a kick.’

‘So, I was wondering if you could give me the brand name so I can get some for myself and the wife and kids.’

‘Yeah, no worries. It’s called Deep Balance herbal tea. I get it at the health shop on Peckham High Street. I think the one you tried was rosemary and basil.’

I picked up a couple of the dog biscuits from the console. ‘Hey, you might be interested in these. They’re for your gut health, absolutely packed with pro- and prebiotics. Get rid of bloating and keep your movements regular and delightful. Here – try one, they don’t taste too bad. If you don’t like the texture, you can crush them up and sprinkle them on some yoghurt.’

He took one of the biscuits from my hand and started to chew. ‘Jesus, they’re a bit fucking hard, aren’t they?’

‘Yeah, it’s best to leave them in your mouth for a while and let your saliva soften them.’

He took my instruction and began to swill the biscuit around in his mouth.

‘Ah, that’s got it. Not bad, quite tart, but not bad at all for something with a health benefit. Would be better sprinkled on yoghurt though. Do you get them at the health shop as well?’

‘Yeah, they’re called “Goodboy’s Gut Health” supplement. Take three a day and your bog brush will be redundant.’