Calm down, I tell myself as I walk back into the lounge and slump on the sofa. Within seconds I’m rubbing furiously at my thighs and my back has become clammy with sweat. I stand up and take off my jacket, then sit down again and take my training shoes off. I stretch out my legs and notice that one of my socks has a hole in the toe. I have a fresh pair drying outside on the wall of the walkway so step outside and fetch them. I take the opportunity to assess the situation in the play area. There’s no one around and the only activity I notice is Boiler Suit Man talking into his phone by the side of his van. He spots me looking his way and gives me a thumbs-up sign as he points to his lower back. He’s clearly well chuffed with the nettle treatment. I knew I was onto something with that theory and promise myself I will also tell him about the pain-reducing abilities of willow bark if I ever get the chance.

Back in the flat, I put on the fresh socks and step back into my trainers. They feel just right; a fresh sock can have that effect. I go back through to the bathroom and wash my face again, then into the bedroom, where I straighten out my duvet and plump up my pillows. I take note of a tea or beer stain on the floorboards next to the mattress that is exactly the shape of Italy. I need a drink so go back through to the kitchen and down a pint of water in one. I shake the last dregs into the sink and place the glass upside down on the draining board. I check the time on my phone; there are still twenty minutes to go. I scroll onto my music app and select ‘Keep on Movin’ ’. I jiggle around like a dad at a barbecue as it plays.

So get on up when you’re down

Baby, take a good look around

I know it’s not much but it’s okay

We’ll keep on movin’ on anyway.

It doesn’t have the same effect as when I played it in the car with Emily. In fact, it brings me no joy at all. I turn it off and leave the flat.