‘No, but I like watching the blokes watching the football. It brings out the best and the worst in them. Turns them back into little kids, which is something they’re usually trying to hide.’

A realization hit me out of the blue.

‘Hold on, when I came in I noticed a bicycle chained up to a bollard next to the entrance. It was all red and white stripes like it belonged to the Grinch or that Where’s Wally? wanker. I bet that’s yours, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it is. But how could you know that?’

‘I’ve got a good imagination – just ask me mum – and when I saw the bike I thought about who would own such a thing and it had to be either a fucking juggler or a lass that looked just like you. I’m very rarely wrong about these things. It’s a nice bike by the way. Are you happy with what it achieves for you?’

‘Yeah, it’s perfect. Like tonight, I just fancied going somewhere I didn’t know anyone and nobody knew me, so I popped on the bike and found this place. I’m only half a mile away on the Grange estate, so it’s perfect.’