This was a question I was not going to answer. As far as I was concerned, and certainly until the playing field changed, I was not going to talk about the dongle to anyone.

‘I think they just happened to be together, on their way to a job or something. It was all fine, not a problem. I have to say, I wouldn’t really have thought Tommy was your type. He seems a lot older than you and a bit – if you don’t mind me saying – a bit unpredictable. I wouldn’t have put you together in a love match – or any match to be honest. Not even ping pong.’

‘I know what you mean, but let’s just say he was a very different man when we first met. Listen, I’d rather not talk about him if you don’t mind.’

‘Okay. Let’s talk about you, then. Your lime-green jacket – are you happy with what it achieves for you?’

‘Yes, very.’

‘Okay, moving on to your baggy trousers. Are you happy with how flappy they are? Could be quite a distraction in windy circumstances.’

‘I wish they had slightly less billow, but I’m happy with the freedom they gift me, especially when I’m having a sit-down.’

‘Good answer. Now, I know you are happy with your DMs and your hairstyle, so I suppose that’s you covered and concluded appearance-wise.’

‘I’ve got a few other bits of clothing in my rucksack. Do you want to give them the once-over?’

‘No, that’s okay. My mum always told me you should never look inside a lady’s bag, even if they give permission.’

‘I like your mum.’

‘Why aren’t you wearing any makeup? As I remember, you always have a bit of paint on your face.’

‘I’m not actually that keen on it. Tommy used to insist I wore it all the time. I’ve had a chequered history with makeup ever since I was at school.’

‘You look nice without it. Shall we order some food?’

We both chose steak and chips and Emily added side dishes of cauliflower cheese and onion rings. She explained that she never turns down the chance of an onion ring as she has loved circular food ever since her granny used to give her spaghetti hoops as a treat when she was a child. I told her I had a liking for the long foods such as hot dogs, asparagus and seaside rock.

‘Rock isn’t a food,’ she responded.

‘Fair enough,’ I replied. ‘In that case I’ll exchange it for another hot dog, but an even longer one.’