She climbed into the car with Becca, the two of them heading to the Edmund D. Edelman Children’s Court in Monterey Park. They were quiet, the anticipation building. Ash stared out the window, her thoughts turning to Nate. No matter how good things were, and things were really good, he was never far from her thoughts. In the beginning, Ash pleaded with Becca to let her visit. “It’ll help him get better if he can see me. He’ll see I’m okay, and that I still love him. It’ll make him work harder to get well.”

Becca wanted Ash to understand that Nate had suffered a serious psychological break.

“We have to give him the best opportunity for recovery. He’s learning a lot of coping skills, and he’s learning how to trust again. As much as he loves you, the doctors are worried a visit might set him back.”

That was the last thing Ash wanted. Becca swore they weren’t abandoning Nate. “He’s not alone, Ash. He still has us. Right now he needs the doctors and nurses to see him through.”

When Ash first learned that Becca knew where Nate was and had lied about it, she was pissed. They spent hours in therapy discussing this betrayal. As more time passed, Ash finally came to realize that Becca’s decision was misguided, but she meant well. It wasn’t like Ash hadn’t told her share of lies.

Still, she hated that he wasn’t part of her daily life. Some days Ash’s whole body ached, she missed Nate so much. She comforted herself by writing to him. Once a week, she handwrote a letter, since she wasn’t allowed access to the Internet. Some of it was boring stuff, like how she was doing in school, or stories about Zoe and Allison, the friends she’d made when she joined the school newspaper.

She couldn’t believe she’d actually joined the paper. Ash wasn’t big on extracurriculars, but she wanted an opportunity to put her photography experience to practical use. She was surprised by how much she enjoyed taking pictures of her classmates, the feeling of accomplishment when the paper went to print each week, seeing her name in color underneath the photo. Sometimes she sent Nate copies of the paper in her letters. More than anything she wanted him to know she hadn’t forgotten him. She ended every letter with a promise. “I’ll wait for you. As long as it takes.”