Becca took a deep breath. She wasn’t supposed to be telling Raya all of this. But Ash’s disappearance was bringing up so many memories. It was almost as if Becca couldn’t stop herself. “I told the 911 operator something was wrong with my brother. A few seconds later, my dad stumbled outside, tears in his eyes. ‘It’s not Robbie. It’s Anthony. He’s dead.’ We learned that he’d been sleeping and someone had stabbed him—over seventeen times while he slept. The desperate search to find Robbie began, everyone wondering what happened. Was he kidnapped? Dumped in the woods? A statewide manhunt unfolded, students at Stanford forming search parties, the entire community rallying together to find one of their own. A trucker discovered Robbie a day and a half later, sitting in his car, covered in Anthony’s blood. He tearfully confessed that he’d stabbed his roommate. Robbie was transported to the local jail and booked. He was not allowed to phone us. He was not given any medical attention nor was he placed on suicide watch. At some point in the middle of the night, before he was even arraigned, my brother hung himself with the bedsheets in his cell. In the days and weeks that he had been e-mailing me, we discovered that Robbie was in the early stages of a psychological breakdown. From high school valedictorian to murderer to dead in less than two years.”

Raya continued gently patting Becca on the hand. “Goddamn, Doc, that’s some fucking sad shit. Though, and don’t take this the wrong way, I envy your brother just a little bit.”

Becca’s eyes widened. Raya quickly interjected. “I mean, not the whole losing it and the murder part, just the idea that he’s not suffering anymore, that he might actually be at peace,” Raya said.

Becca’s gaze narrowed. What the hell was she thinking? She’d already crossed boundaries by bringing Raya down here. Now she was sharing this story with Raya. The last thing Becca wanted to do was unleash some emotional trigger. “Is there something I should be concerned about?” Becca asked.

“You mean am I gonna off myself? Not anytime soon, but even if I was, you can’t save all the wounded birds,” Raya said matter-of-factly as she grabbed Becca’s half-eaten hash brown.

“I can sure as hell try,” Becca said. They shared a smile. For this brief moment, they weren’t all that different. Two people trying to survive in a world that tested them at every turn. Two people whose lives had gone off course and were trying to find their way back. They grew quiet, Raya refilling her soda while Becca sipped her coffee and stared out the window. Watching and waiting. No one objected to their presence. As long as they could pay, they were welcome. McDonald’s, the great equalizer.