Maybe this is what Malcolm decided he could handle—purely having a working relationship with Joy.

Not knowing for sure sits like a rock in the pit of her stomach, weighing her down. She doesn’t feel much else apart from that. She knows the resigned numbness she feels is for the best. It’s her body’s way of protecting her from further harm because Malcolm feels tied to her DNA. His absence has the power to send her unraveling if she loses control over her emotions.

Grace continues, “For someone who claims to love you, he’s incredibly selfish. And childish.”

Joy understands. She sees where he’s coming from, how this makes it easier for him. But Grace is right too. He is being incredibly selfish. The least he could do is respect Joy enough to tell her to her face that this is how he wants it to be. Instead, now she’s stuck in limbo wondering what exactly the truth is.

“I’m not disagreeing with you, but I think it’s more complicated than you’re making it seem.”

“It’s not. You just feel that way because you’re so used to taking up for him. He’s grown. He doesn’t need you to play devil’s advocate,” Grace says. “Anyway. When are you seeing Fox again?”

Joy’s hands jerk on the wheel in surprise. A car next to her blows its horn at her for drifting into their lane. Jesus—she waves apologetically, mouthing, “Sorry!”

“What was that?” Grace asks.

“Nothing. Just someone honking their horn. I’m home,” Joy lies. “I’ll call you back after I’m settled.”

“You better. I want a Silver Fox update.”

Joy hangs up. “Well, you’re not getting one.” Her heart stutters as she panics, double-checking to make sure she did in fact hang up and didn’t just say that out loud to her sister.

She made it almost the entire day without crumbling into a ball whenever she realized she missed Fox by following a very simple rule: she’s only allowed to think about him for five controlled minutes every hour.

Grabbing donuts at the cute little bakery down the street from Red Warren reminded her of making his birthday cake and sharing apple pie.

Refilling her water bottle reminded her how Fox can’t swim and she volunteered to rescue him, naked if need be.

Reviewing furniture samples for a possible Red Warren office redecoration reminded her how skilled he is at carpentry.

She took a break with Megan to watch some cute viral animal videos—one of them about a woman who played guitar for a sleepy brown cow who rested its head in her lap.

Dropping off mail in the blue postbox made her realize how truly committed she is to ensuring her own unhappiness because she didn’t ask for his phone number.