There are too many things to consider, so many potential outcomes like pregnancy and STIs that could change her life forever. She doesn’t see it as fun like Malcolm, and she doesn’t feel a desire to have sex with another person. The cons simply outweigh the pros.

If she ever decides to have sex, she wants it to be an informed and active choice. And she wants to feel safe.

Joy continues, “I need someone who’ll be okay with me laughing, asking too many questions, being weird, and cracking jokes. Someone that can calmly explain things to me in the moment without getting frustrated or overwhelmed.

“One of my worst nightmares is having sex with someone and then they get mad at me because they think I’m not taking it seriously or because I don’t automatically turn into a puddle of moaning mush. When if they knew me at all, they would know I am taking it seriously. It’s a big deal to me—I just express it differently because I want to understand what’s happening while it’s happening.”

“I could do that,” Fox says too quickly. “You can trust me.”

Joy manages to not laugh. “Let’s think with our big brains, not our little brains.” She places her hands on his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumbs. “You’re a great person, Fox. I really do like you, but I also met you three days ago. I don’t know you well enough to trust you like that. I’m not having sex with you tonight.”

“Hmm.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” she whispers, mouth near his. “I can see you thinking.”

“I am.” He gives her a quick peck and rests his forehead against her chest. “Big brain needs a minute to catch up.”

Joy holds him there, rubbing his back. “Cool. I’ll wait here.”

He laughs and mutters, “God.” His expression is solemn when he says, “I really like you too, Joy.”

“Okay.” She inhales, holding it to prepare herself to be disappointed. It always ends like this.

“I’m very attracted to you.” He lifts his head.

“I know.” Her gaze flicks downward and up again. “I can tell.”

That makes him smile. “I hear you. I understand what you’re saying.”

“But?”

“No buts,” he says. “I understand.”

“No buts? No questions? Nothing?”

“I said I understand. Is there something else you need to tell me?”

“No. That’s it.”

Fox kisses her again, softly at first and then harder and with more urgency. She’s not overwhelmed but she gets close when he squeezes her thighs. Her hands are on his wrists in record time, holding him firmly. He breaks their kiss and looks her in the eyes—still soft, still understanding.

He asks, “Can I touch you?”