I lowered my voice and spoke directly to the reporter, who I recognised from the six o’clock news. ‘Come on guys, move back please. There’s not going to be anything interesting or newsworthy here. Let us get on with our jobs. If you move by the trees over there, you’ll be out of our way and you’ll still be able to see if you want to.’

‘Can you make a comment on the actions of the protesters, and how you will remove them?’ the reporter asked, pointing a fluffy microphone in my direction. It brought back memories. At least I wasn’t wearing my pyjamas this time.

‘I’m sorry. You know I can’t comment right now. But thank you for cooperating and moving back.’ Politeness recorded on camera won the day, and they edged towards the tree line.

Next were the protesters. I didn’t think they would be as amenable.

‘Okay, the show is over. I’m going to have to ask you to move away now.’

‘Sod off, pigs. We’ve got just as much right to be here as you have,’ yelled the man in the cage via his megaphone. I was only a metre from him, so the amplification was hardly necessary. The charming namecalling must have embarrassed some of the others, as a well-dressed lady with greying hair quickly stepped up and addressed us while gesturing at Cage Guy to stop.

‘I’m sorry, officers,’ she said with impeccable enunciation, ‘but this is a public place, so we are perfectly entitled to exercise our right to protest. This circus exploits animals for its financial gain. It doesn’t care for them humanely or to any recognised standards. It’s unethical and we—’

‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ I interrupted, ‘but as this circus has a council permit to occupy this public space for the purposes of its show, it is temporarily deemed by law to be a private place and therefore you are trespassing and can be asked to leave. If you choose not to leave quietly, you can be charged with trespass, and then you can explain your purpose to a judge.’ This news was greeted with much muttering and many confused looks from the protesters. Then several of them spotted the small tent, fully erected and being carried along by four of the circus men.

‘What on earth…’ murmured the woman.

‘Look, come on, now. It’s time to move along, please. I don’t want to have to start taking your names.’ Most of them moved back ten metres or so, but several, including the woman and gorilla man, stayed to see what was happening with the tent.