I could have done with an umbrella and he could have done with a breath mint. ‘Look, I don’t mean to cause you any offence,’ I said. God knew he took offence like an Olympic hurdler. ‘But someone has reported this and it is our duty to follow it up. I am certain none of your people would have had anything to do with the thefts, but I would still appreciate it if you’d quietly keep an eye or an ear out just in case.’

‘I’ll do no such thing, young lady.’ He moved slightly closer in a deliberate attempt to intimidate me. I was eye-level with his sizeable chest and already well aware of how imposing he could be. His move only served to piss me off, so I stood my ground and maintained firm eye contact as he continued on his rant. ‘I can tell you right here and now none of my crew would steal anything, not only because they are decent people, but because they all know they would have to deal with me first.’ It didn’t take much imagination to work out how they’d be handled. ‘So you can take your little enquiry and stick it, as far as I’m concerned.’

Count to ten; you’re the bigger person, Shep, I coached myself, don’t make it worse. I seemed to have been doing a lot of maths lately. When I was certain my dander was under control, I spoke with deliberate calm. ‘There’s no reason to be rude.’ I couldn’t resist some admonishment, delivered with what I hoped was a soothing kind of voice. ‘If it were your equipment that had been stolen, you’d expect us to make a complete and thorough investigation, as is our duty. It’s the same for this person.’

He reciprocated with what I guessed was his version of control. ‘Yeah, well I’m sick to bloody death of everyone treating us like scumbags. You can go back and tell your superiors they’re looking up the wrong tree here. They should be looking at the sod that was poking around my property, not at us. He was the one up to no damned good.’

‘Yes, I know that, and of course we’ll be looking into his behaviour too. Do you want to make a formal complaint about trespass?’ I thought maybe if I turned it around his temper might fully defuse.

‘Bah.’ He threw his hands up into the air. ‘Like it would make any difference. You’d be amazed how people think they can walk through our compound at any time of day or night. Wander where they like, like it’s all one big sideshow attraction. They wouldn’t take kindly to complete strangers wandering through their backyards, looking at their laundry, hassling their pets.’