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Chapters (73)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Also by Anita Frank
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Dedication
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  46. Chapter Forty
  47. Part Two
  48. Chapter Forty-One
  49. Chapter Forty-Two
  50. Chapter Forty-Three
  51. Chapter Forty-Four
  52. Chapter Forty-Five
  53. Chapter Forty-Six
  54. Chapter Forty-Seven
  55. Chapter Forty-Eight
  56. Chapter Forty-Nine
  57. Chapter Fifty
  58. Chapter Fifty-One
  59. Chapter Fifty-Two
  60. Chapter Fifty-Three
  61. Chapter Fifty-Four
  62. Chapter Fifty-Five
  63. Chapter Fifty-Six
  64. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  65. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  66. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  67. Chapter Sixty
  68. Acknowledgements
  69. Extract
  70. Chapter One
  71. Chapter Two
  72. Chapter Three
  73. About the Publisher

That night, Jack awakes with a start. In the looseboxes beyond the tack room door the horses sidle, their hooves catching on the cobbles beneath the straw. He swings his legs over the side of the bed. Sitting on its edge, he cocks his ear to the darkness and concentrates. His senses tingle with alertness. Getting to his feet, he steps into his trousers and pushes on his boots. He is careful as he lifts the latch on the door to make as little noise as possible.

Through the threads of moonlight he sees Gwen, sitting on an upturned bucket in front of Arthur’s stall. The horse’s head hangs over the wooden gate; he snorts softly, nudging her shoulder with his velvet muzzle.

Gwen twists round to face Jack. She is nursing a bottle of whisky and he sees at once she has been crying. The streaks on her cheeks glisten in the darkness.

‘I thought about what you said,’ she says at last, ‘about letting fate decide. I thought I’d let my body decide whether it kept this baby or not. So, I worked hard today. I worked until I thought I would drop, until every inch of me was screaming with pain. Then I had that bath – I could hardly stand it, it was so hot, I thought I’d be blistered all over when I got out. And then finally I took this from the bottom drawer of Dad’s desk. He doesn’t realise that I know it’s there. I just …’ Her chest heaves and falls on a sob. ‘And then I started thinking – what if what I’m doing doesn’t cause me to lose the baby, but just damage it in some way? What mother does that? What sort of mother harms the innocent life inside her?’ Her gaze drills into him. ‘You asked me if I wanted this baby … if I wanted to keep it. And the thing is, Jack, I do.’

She whispers her confession, then abruptly thrusts the bottle aside and stands up, walking over to the gaping doorway. She tips her face towards the full moon, the goddess of fertility shining in the night sky like an omen. ‘This is my baby as much as his. It has as much of me in it as it does of him. He can reject it … but I won’t. It is growing within me, becoming more a part of me every day. It is my baby.’

There are no tears on her face as she turns to address him, though there is profound sorrow, perhaps regret. He stands rigid, aware of the distant bark of a fox and the soughing of the wind in the trees. But all he wants to hear are her words.