KENNY: I only found out she was leavin’ tonight!

ROSS moves offstage in a fury.

ROSS: [offstage] Would she want this dresser in the bedroom?

KENNY: [irritated] Jesus, mate!

ROSS: [reappearing] Well, does she like it?

KENNY: [sarcastically] I’m sorry, Constable, but my wife and I didn’t spend much time discussing her innermost feelings for the dresser. It’s something we’ve been meaning to do for a long time, but we just keep putting it off. D’you think that could have something to do with the failure of our marriage?

ROSS: [nervy and agitated] Look. I haven’t hit you, Carter. I haven’t hit you, so there’s no need to get funny with me. This gentleman can’t be expected to hang around all day.

REMOVALIST: [sagely] That’s right, fella. I’ve got ten thousand dollars worth of machinery tickin’ over out there.

KENNY: If I hear you say that once again, mate, I’ll piss in your radiator and shit in your gearbox.

REMOVALIST: [defensively] That’s all right for you. You wage-earners don’t realise that time is money and money is time.

ROSS: I thought you were being paid by the hour.

REMOVALIST: [touchy] That’s not the point. That’s not the point at all. If I can get this job wrapped up early, I might be able to pick up a late job before I knock off.

ROSS: All right, then. Take the bloody dresser.

REMOVALIST: On who’s authority?

ROSS: On my authority.

REMOVALIST: [sitting down and taking out a smoke] I want to get movin’. Fair enough. But I’m not going off half-cocked.

ROSS: Go to buggery, then.

ROSS sits down. SIMMONDS strides back in and sees the two of them sitting around.

SIMMONDS: [loudly] What’s all this? A bloody smoko?

REMOVALIST: If one knew what item one was dealing with next, one might bloody well get on with it.

SIMMONDS: [walking off stage] Take this dresser in here! [Coming back] Why didn’t you use your bloody initiative, Ross?

ROSS: [protesting] I did.

REMOVALIST: [to SIMMONDS] How d’you know the dresser’s got to go?

SIMMONDS: [ominously] Take the bloody dresser!

They move off to get the dresser. SIMMONDS calls after ROSS.

Why couldn’t you have done that?

ROSS: [turning, in protest] I did. I told him to take the dresser.

SIMMONDS: Then why didn’t you boot him up the arse? Now go on. Jump to it!

ROSS and the REMOVALIST move off. FIONA returns from outside and stands there hesitantly. SIMMONDS stands looking at her.

FIONA: Perhaps the dresser in the bedroom could go next.

SIMMONDS: They’re getting it.

KENNY: [to FIONA] You haven’t even thought this all out, have you?

FIONA: [defensively] Yes I have.

KENNY: [with a sudden thought] Is your mother going to give you money?

FIONA: [edgy] No.

KENNY: [pressing] She’s giving you money, isn’t she?

FIONA: She gave me the deposit on the flat. That’s all!

KENNY: How in the hell do you think you’re going to live on your salary?

FIONA: You’ll be paying me something.

KENNY: [indignant] Like hell I will! You’re the one who’s leavin’ me. I don’t have to pay a thing!