He was not asleep. In fact, he felt more awake than he ever had. He knew he had entered a different realm. He glanced down and saw two tiny feet that he recognized as his own childhood feet, bare on the soft, lush, green grass. They felt connected to the earth. He came upon a clearing in the woods on a warm summer day and instinctively knew his way, though he had never been there before. He could see all around with utter clarity, despite the fact his eyes were closed. Just ahead a brilliant ray of sunlight broke through an opening in the trees and illuminated the soft grass, displaying a bright green patch that had been prepared for him. He stretched out and rested his head on the fluffy ground. The sun was warm on his face. He watched the images dancing on the insides of his eyelids. Blue, black, and white speckles moved side to side and twirled against a red background. In the distance he could see the figure of a woman who spoke to him. Her voice sounded familiar and comforting, and yet he knew they had never met.

“You are free because you are not alone and never will be alone, because you are one with every other human being as they are one with you. Be guided by love, and it will destroy all fear. Trust in God. He has much greater plans for you than you could ever possibly imagine. You must accept that you are forgiven and then you will be able to forgive others. God is in you and you are in God. God is everywhere, in everything and in everyone.”

On the other side of the country, Carolyn sat opposite the array of bottles filled with pills that promised to remove her anxiety, help her overcome her sadness, and allow her to sleep—perhaps for a long, long time. There was something comforting about this pharmaceutical oasis, where all this pain wouldn’t be able to reach her. The doctor had made it sound so inviting, like flipping a switch and making the incessant noise in her head just stop. Disappear. Relief was simply an arm’s length away. She had avoided taking the medication for some time, but the sleeplessness and sense of foreboding were starting to overwhelm her. She felt herself sinking fast, but something told her to wait.