“That’s easy for you to say, Mitch. You don’t have to live with this.”

“Honey, let’s just try to calm down. This day has been all too much, and we have to try to keep our heads on straight. Besides, we have to start writing this, now, so we need to get started.”

Carolyn didn’t finish until almost three in the morning, by which time Mitch was stretched out on the bed sound asleep. Carolyn’s head began to dip as she started to nod off over her writing, but she insisted to herself that she needed to make just one more improvement.

“Go to bed, girlfriend. I think it’s perfect!” She lifted her head expecting to see Rachel standing there. Her voice was so clear and vibrant, and so alive. Of course, Rachel wasn’t there; however, Carolyn followed her friend’s advice and went to bed.

She was asleep within seconds of shutting off the light.

CHAPTER 13

Courage and Wisdom

If in Christ we have hope in this life only,
We are of all people most to be pitied.
—1 Corinthians 15:19

IT HAD BEEN prescient of Mitch to arrange for a 7:30 wake-up call, because they were both sound asleep when the phone rang. They called for room service and hurriedly prepared for the day ahead while the Today show blared in the background. Carolyn changed the channel the instant Katie Couric began to introduce the segment about “the terrible double homicide in the Akron area.” Both she and Mitch were starting to loathe the way the media was milking the tragedy that was so real and personal to them. Fortunately, Reverend Kirkpatrick and the police department had promised to prohibit any television cameras inside the church, but there would doubtless be a crush outside, and there was no way to keep the reporters out of the building.

Carolyn asked Mitch to read the eulogy she’d finished writing after he had fallen asleep, and he did so over breakfast.

“I think it’s beautiful, honey. It’s straight from your heart, and I think the way you end it will reach everyone. I know Rachel will be remembered for how generous and loving she was, and you know that firsthand, so it’s truthful and honest, as it should be.”

“Well, I just pray I can get all the way through it. I still don’t feel as if any of this is real, but I know today is going to make it seem final.”

“Just take your time, and take a deep breath whenever you need to. People will understand that this is a very hard thing to do, but you can do it. I know you can. You just have to hand this over to God, and have faith that it will be fine.”