She went on like this for a while, pointing out the perfect angles of the wood, the simple phoenix carving, the sharpness of the point. How well it could make both broad strokes and precise stipples. It was nice, and undoubtedly a good pencil, but I quickly lost interest in these intricacies.

“Take this pencil for a few days. Write with it. Or draw with it. Whatever you want. Don’t lose it.”

“Alright.”

Back in my room, determined to use the pencil in some way, I made a card to go along with the frozen food. I had to dig through my desk drawers to find an eraser. Once I did, I was able to draw freely in a way I had not since I was a child. I drew a picture of a lion, curled on top of a bed of cabbage. As I drew, I wondered what there could be to teach about these pencils. A form of meditation, maybe? The pencil glided perfectly. I was almost disappointed when I finished. I added a message inside the card.

Hope this makes up for your dinner of stale cookies!

I tapped the pencil against my chin. It smelled comfortingly of incense. I wrote one more line.

Thanks for looking out for me.

Yesterday, something really good happened. I was biking back from the grocery store when Prof. Logan called me. I was horrified at first. But quickly composed myself enough to answer. It turned out he had been in the registrar’s office and happened to overhear that I was taking next semester off. I cursed the small school.

“I am sorry to hear about your grandmother,” he said, voice softening. “My uncle also had dementia. God, it’s a hard disease. I am so sorry, Monica.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Then I started babbling about how I had really been looking forward to returning to school, taking his classes, working on EMBRS.

“But, Monica.” His voice changed. “What if you did keep working on EMBRS?”

Then he said he could pay me to work on it from home and that without a class load, I could probably contribute even more than I’d otherwise be able to.

“I understand if you have too much going on right now,” he added. “But for this sort of thing, it might be nice to have something steady to work on.”

“You would offer that?” I asked in disbelief.

“You’re a very talented engineer. And you’ve got a personal connection to EMBRS. So of course I’d want you on my team in any way possible.”

He said he’d send over the paperwork, to take some time to think about it, but it was the easiest decision of my life. For the first time, I imagined doing something with my semester other than languishing. That maybe I could keep one foot on my original path.