“My parents left when I was really young. I think that messed with my self-esteem.” I had never really talked to anyone about my parents’ situation before. When people asked about them, there were always assumptions involved. That my parents must be so proud, how could they miss this, why did my mother never volunteer for school activities, it seemed a little harsh that my grandparents were shoveling snow? But in the quiet of the setting sun with only her to listen, it was easy to talk about.

“My mom left first, and my dad went to Shanghai to work when the stock market crashed here. He rarely comes back. I guess that’s why I’d do anything for my grandparents.” I nestled my chin between my knees. “They didn’t have to raise me and treat me so well.”

Louise turned to me suddenly.

“Let me try reframing your story.”

“What does that mean?”

“There’s some research that shows if you change the way you see your own story, there can be profound benefits. Therapists sometimes use this technique to help patients dealing with trauma see their own life differently, to help them come to peace with their past. Reframing is one way to put it, you might also see it called story editing, or—”

“Or git rebasing?”

She laughed. “I think only you would call it git rebasing. But yes, you know what? You’re right. Let’s git rebase your commit history. Actually, scratch that. I’ll reframe my story. Then you reframe yours. It’ll be a good exercise, you’ll see.” She cleared her throat.

“My original story: I was never as good at anything as my brothers. I didn’t win any of the awards they won. I only got into Princeton because they both went there. I’m going to disappoint my parents even more once they find out I’ve changed majors. They’re going to say I’m wasting their money. But I’m the helpless youngest child, so they’ll grudgingly continue paying for my degree, as long as they can still tell their friends that all of their children went to Princeton.”

“Can I rebase your story?” I asked suddenly. I hated hearing all the ways she talked herself down.

“Oh, yes. Please do.”