‘Mr Osbourne-Milligan?’ They’d stood there, grim-faced, before he’d nodded and let them into the house, and they’d told him that they’d found her car, that it was found not far from the Severn Bridge, with her purse and a card with a single word scrawled across it – ‘Sorry’ – on the passenger seat inside. That given her state of mind and previous history, they were in no doubt about what she had done.

Nothing has been the same since those two police officers stood on Rupert’s doorstep, with their serious faces and grave voices, and told him that his life was about to change forever. Everything is washed out, faded, blurred by a persistent tug of guilt every time he lets himself think of her. More so today, the day they held a memorial service in Caro’s name. Everything is over for Caro, she is at peace. He has to keep on going, guilt balanced on each shoulder.

The church had been freezing cold earlier this morning despite the weak sunshine outside, as they all shuffled in and sat, straight-backed, waiting for the vicar to start his speech. All except Michael, Caro’s father. His shoulders were rounded, hunched, grief scored into his face as he finally took his seat next to Esme, Caro’s mother. The tip of Rupert’s nose was cold, meaning he had to keep sniffing, inhaling the cat piss scent of the lilies that adorned the aisles. Thinking he was crying, Esme turned to pat his hand, a tissue pressed against her own nose, and he was grateful when numbness overtook him as the vicar stood to give Caro’s eulogy. A man who barely knew her – Caro hadn’t attended church for years despite Esme’s requests – standing talking about Rupert’s wife, telling the church how loved she was, how generous, how kind, how caring. Rupert felt disconnected, removed from the moment as the voice of the vicar boomed around the echoey chambers of the church, as though they weren’t talking about Caro. As though the vicar was talking about someone Rupert couldn’t recognize, someone he’d never met before. Then he’d had to endure drinks and a buffet at Caro’s parents’ house, as strangers – Caro’s people, not his – told him that they were sorry, but at least he could move on now. He expects this kind of thing from them, but not from Sadie.