I sit in silence as I wait for Sadie to come back from the bathroom, our conversation buzzing around in my head. Sadie is right, I am just being silly. It was never going to be easy, Rupert and I adjusting to married life after dating for such a short time, and I’m glad I plucked up the courage to talk to Sadie. Married life is never plain sailing, and Sadie hinted at the fact that things weren’t perfect between Rupert and Caro. I frown as I mull over Sadie’s words, wondering exactly what it was that wasn’t perfect between them. Rupert has only mentioned one or two things about Caro – mainly about her mental health – and given the choice doesn’t really talk about Caro, not to me anyway. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’ve felt a little fobbed off at times when I have asked about her. I pick up my phone, toying with the idea of texting my mum and asking her advice, but then I remember that she still hasn’t replied to the last text I sent her, and I lay my phone back on the table, pressing the side button to turn the screen black.

Em is not Caro, she never will be. Rupert’s words to Amanda come back to me and I take another sip of my wine, now warm and sour on my tongue, the beginnings of a headache starting to thump at my temples. I’m not sure whether the fact that Rupert said I’m not Caro is a good thing or bad thing now, after what Sadie said earlier.

Sadie enters the kitchen, rubbing her hands together, her huge handbag already over her shoulder. ‘Thank you for a lovely day, darling. I hope I haven’t upset you, talking about Caro. You and Rupert are wonderful together, despite what some people think.’ I get to my feet and Sadie flaps a hand in my direction. ‘Darling, I have to go. I haven’t seen the children all day, and I wasn’t there to put them to bed last night either; they’ll be a nightmare for the nanny tonight if I don’t get back. Don’t get up, you look exhausted.’

‘Thank you for today, Sadie, sorry if I…’

‘Oh, don’t be silly. Nothing to be sorry for, we all have our ups and downs. Just so long as you know I’m always here if you want to chat.’ Sadie puts her head on one side. ‘We’ll go to yoga next week, shall we? That might help.’

‘Oh no,’ I say, almost knocking my wine glass over in my haste to stand up, ‘I can’t. We’re going to Rupert’s parents for Christmas and to be honest, Rupert isn’t too keen on me going there again.’