Roy said we should catch another cab back to Surry Hills, but I suggested we walk a while first and see how far we got. I thought of my brother’s words about money and wondered how much of being with Roy was that he could take me away from everything I wanted to escape. There was certainly plenty. We walked through the grounds of Sydney University, the sandstone buildings and wide green lawns, the fig trees with their knotted roots and low branches. It was still dark early and the sunset had turned the scattered clouds orange with the sky a purplish bruise. He took my hand and as we walked his thumb absentmindedly stroked the side of my thumb. Then I realised Roy had asked me a question but I hadn’t heard it—he was looking at me, waiting for an answer.

‘Sorry, I didn’t catch that.’

‘I asked what it is you want to be doing in ten years’ time. Where do you see yourself?’

It was a funny question, because I’d never given it much thought. I considered the life I’d lived so far: losing the farm, moving to the city, Dad’s drinking and his cheating and Mum’s nerves. I seemed to live in reaction to my parents, and when I tried to picture what kind of life I wanted for myself the thought that came into my head was: away from them. A thought so clear I nearly spoke it.

We had reached Victoria Park by now, and I sat on a bench because there was a stone in my shoe. I unbuckled the strap, shook out the stone, and pulled my shoe back on over my stockinged foot. Stockings Roy had bought me. I felt his eyes on me the entire time.

‘Well?’

‘I want a family. Children—two or three? Not too many. A house with a big garden. A dog.’

‘A farm?’

‘Perhaps, but I also want to keep working. Maybe not typing; anyone can do that. Maybe I could go to university. I was good at school. I could have kept going.’

I felt surprised by my own words. I’d hardly thought them through before I said them, but they were true.

‘You’re smart enough, in my book. Smart enough to go with me.’

I tucked myself against him and took his hand into mine, threading my fingers through his. We started to kiss then but he pulled away after just a minute. A flock of lorikeets landed in the tree beside us and they made a ruckus as they settled in for the night.

His face was long, his jaw working again as if he were chewing gum.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I hate to think of going to New Guinea and coming back to find you with someone else.’

‘Don’t be silly. I’ll wait for you.’