He had his arm around my waist, and we traded stories of tobacco and dairy farms the rest of the way, and I told him how we came to be living in Forest Lodge after Dad sold the farm.

‘You live with your parents?’

I nodded, wishing I didn’t.

‘You’re sayin’ I’ll have to leave you here then,’ Roy said, and he leaned back against the wrought-iron fence outside my house. I worried that he would or wouldn’t kiss me, unable to speak with the sudden fear of both. He looked so calm, the opposite of how I felt. He had washed the blood off in the men’s room at the milk bar, but the graze looked worse than it had before, ringed by yellow-tinged skin.

‘I’m sorry about the fight,’ I said, reaching out my hand but not actually touching him now.

‘Don’t be. Every time it hurts it’ll remind me of you.’

It was so silly that I laughed, and then felt bad, but he was smiling too.

‘Can we go out again sometime?’ he asked.

‘Why me?’

‘You’re beautiful. And this sounds funny, but you remind me of the girls back home.’

‘Is that meant to be a compliment?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I suppose.’

He looked down then and I could see relief on his face, not arrogance, and so I did something I’d never done before, carried away by the chaos of the night and how strange it had all been: I placed my hands on his chest and leaned forwards on my toes to kiss him. His breath caught and he kissed me back, and I could feel his lips tighten in an involuntary smile.

We kissed more and I felt dizzy from it, so different when it was at my behest. I took the lead, but he followed, and after a minute or two I knew I ought to pull away.

‘Well,’ he said, grinning.

‘Sorry. I just…I’ve never…’

‘Ain’t I lucky then?’ He opened the gate for me, waited as I unlocked the door.

There you go, I thought, embarrassed. I must be my father’s daughter after all—chasing the thrill rather than thinking of the implications. But then again, I couldn’t help but feel the bright fizz of it. I felt like squeezing myself into a ball and exploding out, life spilling from every part of me, so much bright and irrepressible life.

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