Hope rushed through him like clear, cool water. “KC—”

“But—” she said, cutting him off. “How could you?”

He winced at the betrayal in her voice.

“How could you lie to me all this time?” She pressed her fingers to her lips to stave off a sob, her eyes glittering with tears. It was a few seconds before she spoke again. “You let me think Graham was a hero. You let everyone think he was a hero.”

“He was,” Ash said emphatically. “In the worst moment of danger, he jumped for the gun. He put himself between the gun and us. He was trying to stop Trevor.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “He knocked me out, Ash.”

He looked down. “That was an accident. I’ve gone over and over it in my head. Maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there because of how my family was or because I wanted you so badly for myself. I wanted him to be flawed. When I found you two, I thought he’d hit you, but he was crying, devastated. He hadn’t hurt you. He just wanted to punch me. He was panicked when you fell. His last words were telling me to get you out safely. He loved you. Everything else aside, I know that without a doubt.”

A choked sound escaped her as the tears kept flowing. “You lied, Ash. You let me go on believing this myth.” She winced as if in physical pain. “This myth that I had this great love in my life. That I’d had this soul mate who’d saved me.”

“Kincaid—”

“When the truth is, he was just going to be another guy to let me down. Another bad choice.” She looked up at him. “I’m real good at falling for guys who hurt me. And ones who lie to me.”

The knife landed solid. “KC—”

She stilled suddenly and then looked at him with fresh horror. “When you came over to my house, you knew all this. You let me cry about Graham, and you climbed in my bed.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “Jesus. After all that, you got what you wanted. Graham was out of the picture, and you could look like the one to save me.”

“No, God, it wasn’t like that,” he pleaded. “I was so messed up in the head that night I went to your house. I swear it wasn’t calculated. When things started to cross the line, I thought maybe you had feelings for me. You’d kissed me back at prom. I was grieving and confused. But then you said Graham’s name, and I knew I’d made a huge mistake.”

She looked away.

“Afterward, I knew I had to leave town for good. I didn’t deserve you, but I also knew I couldn’t stay away. If you left the door open for me, I’d walk in. I didn’t want to benefit from Graham’s death.” He raked his hands through his hair. “It makes me sick to think I’d get any benefit. Every time Charlie and Grace do something nice for me, every time they’ve welcomed me as their own, I feel that gut-wrenching guilt. And I swore I’d stay away from you. I tried to forget about you, tried to write my feelings off as a misguided high school crush. But…”