‘I hope you haven’t started without us,’ said Tess, who was still wearing the gigantic grey coat. Her pink hat had been replaced with something that could have doubled as a tea cosy. Perhaps it was a tea cosy. There were snowflakes in Nina’s long chocolaty hair and on the shoulders of her duffel coat. Tom had to stop himself brushing them away. She looked like she belonged in Dr Zhivago or one of those films that made his mam cry.

‘We’re only here five minutes ourselves,’ he lied. ‘There’s a seat over there for you.’ He pointed towards a mildewed two-seater sofa he’d covered with sacks.

‘Do you hang out here all the time?’ asked Nina, as they sat down.

‘Yes,’ said Tom.

‘No,’ said Conor, their answers colliding.

‘What are the pair of you like?’ said Tess, pulling off her tea cosy. She looked around. ‘It’s a bit of a kip, isn’t it?’

‘I think it’s fab,’ said Nina. ‘If I had a place like this at home, I wouldn’t ever want to leave.’

It turned out that Tess was the most experienced smoker. While Tom had had the occasional puff, he wasn’t sure he could inhale. Conor was a wheezing amateur, and Nina wasn’t much better. But Tess was a pro. Not only did she inhale, she knew how to blow actual smoke rings.

‘I take my mam’s smokes all the time,’ she said, in her most casual voice. ‘Believe it or not, she never seems to notice.’

Smoking, it turned out, came with a rule book. Tess took charge, showing them how to light one cigarette from the butt of another and instructing them not to slobber on the filter. This was known as a ‘duck’s arse’ and was a very bad thing. She also knew the best way to remove the smell from your breath. Silvermints were handy, but a handful of grass was better. ‘Just chew it,’ she said, with an earnest nod.

‘Like a cow?’ asked Conor.

‘Like a cow.’

Drinking beer was a lot simpler, but no matter how often Tom tried – and he often stole sips from his dad’s glass – he couldn’t get used to it. Why couldn’t the beer people make it taste better? Still, it warmed you up and made words easier to find.