Lightning whipped across the sky, filling the room with white light. Tess realised that sadness was creeping over her. More than this, she felt out of sync with the others. She’d hoped the summer would cement their friendship. Instead, it was emphasising their differences. She remembered Conor saying they’d always be bound together by the night of the party. Maybe so, but it was an uncomfortable connection.

It was easy for Nina and Tom. Here they were, having an adventure. Soon enough, they’d be heading home, their lives stretching out in front of them, opportunities waiting. Conor also had plans. He’d told Tess about them before she’d left Kilmitten, then sworn her to secrecy. She was different. With no particular talent or ambition, she was fumbling along, aiming to get through the day with as little grief as possible. In her darker moments, she pictured herself alone in some rancid bedsit, doing a job no more satisfying than her mother’s, stumbling from pay cheque to pay cheque, a magnet for losers and users. She couldn’t say any of this out loud. Nina would give her an intense look before explaining why she was wrong. Tom would urge her not to be daft.

Tess took a pull on the joint, then returned it to Tom. She told herself to grow up, to act like the adult she wanted to be. Try as she might, though, she couldn’t shake off her fears.

Chapter 7

Kilmitten

The miracle was that he’d got this far without his father’s knowledge. Conor had assumed the news would filter down or that his dad’s intuition would point him in the right direction. Yet, as far as he knew, his secret was intact. There was no method to this secrecy, no grand plan. He was nervous, simple as that. No matter that the news was good – well, most people would consider it good – he couldn’t be sure how his dad would react.

They were at the kitchen table, the remains of their pork chops in front of them. It had been Conor’s turn to cook. Once or twice a week, Paula still made dinner, but she had a life of her own now with an office job in Templemorris and a husband. Two months previously she’d married the eldest O’Grady brother, Marty. They’d been going out for three years, and marrying had been the logical step. If they were in Dublin, they would probably have lived together, but in Kilmitten that wasn’t an option. If you were young and wanted regular sex, you did the decent thing and got married.