When we pulled up outside the house and staggered up the driveway, I kept my eyes trained on my own two feet to ensure I wouldn’t tumble over. Connie opened the door and we crept up both flights of stairs to the guest room in the attic before she shut the bedroom door and we were completely alone.

“Was I drugged?” I asked. “The man who gave me that drink—did he drug me?”

“No?” Connie shrugged off her jacket and laid it on the floor.

“He must have,” I mused, nodding to myself. “Because I think I’ve lost my mind.”

“You haven’t.”

“But…you kissed me. You. Me. We kissed.” When there was no response, I sat down next to her on the bed. “Why did you kiss me?” I asked again, but there was still no answer. Her eyelids dropped ever so slightly and she inhaled, her lips pursing together. She twisted her body around to face me and as soon as her gaze met mine, I was rushing forward with courage I never knew I possessed to capture her lips in mine once more, my hand reaching up to cradle her neck.

Before I could even begin to decipher what was happening Connie swung her knee over my legs to straddle me and I shuffled up slightly to meet her. She ground down into my lap as I pulled her closer, a low moan escaping her just as her hand wound its way into my hair. She pushed me back against the pillows, sneaking one of her legs between mine and brushing up against my center. I couldn’t help but gasp into her mouth and she stole the chance to shove her tongue between my lips, tugging hard on my hair. I kissed her back with all the fervor and desperation of someone on the brink of insanity, hoping somewhere in the back of my mind, amidst the white noise and the feverish desire, that this wasn’t the product of some delusional dream.

In between kisses she made quick work of her dress and then her bra, leaving her sitting on my lap in only her underwear. Instinctively I glanced away from her, my cheeks burning, and Connie scoffed. “This is gonna take a lot longer than it should if you can’t even look at me.”

I mumbled something incoherently beneath my breath before I could finally bring myself to take my eyes away from the window and back to her bare form before me. Christ, she was beautiful. Surely this wasn’t real? A disbelieving laugh told me I voiced that particular thought aloud. I paused, briefly, wondering if I ought to remove my own clothes. Connie, somehow, seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

“Do you need an invitation?”

With a gulp I pulled my top over my head, flinging it somewhere to the side. She took a moment to glance over me and I was grateful for the dimmed lighting, that she couldn’t see my blush. Connie sat still on my lap, her knees on either side of my hips, and for a moment we simply stared at each other. Her face was inches from my own and I could see my reflection in her eyes, my own unconcealed anxiety looking back at me. Christ. I was sitting in bed topless with the most beautiful girl I would ever know and we had already crossed into unchartered waters, verging on the edge of the point of no return. This was the first time I had ever come so far with anyone at all, boy or girl, and I felt horribly exposed. Horribly unworthy. She nibbled gently on her lip as her fingers toyed with the strands of hair at the back of my head. Was she nervous, too, as I was? She certainly had no reason to be.