He shook his head. “Never mind.” He left the kitchen, and I followed him into the living room.

“Why are you home, Paul?” I asked from behind him.

But I figured it out as soon as I asked the question. Maybe a part of me had been suspecting for weeks now, and I’d let it go because I hadn’t wanted to look too closely. It was how I’d been dealing with everything these days.

I thought maybe if I didn’t see it, it wouldn’t fall apart.

He turned, shoulders sagged in defeat.

Paul wasn’t having an affair. He’d lost his job.

“How long?” I asked him.

Paul sat on the couch, picked up the remote, and shut off the court show. He sighed. Why was he always so calm? I wanted to shake him, to make him scream or cry or grip me. Anything to show some sort of passion.

“One month. They eliminated my whole department.”

An entire month? I flashed back to all the signs—him coming home on time, drinking more. Having a greater interest in exactly which days I’d be working from home. No wonder I’d had that feeling someone had been in the house—he’d been there and split before I came home.

“Where’ve you been going every morning?”

He shrugged. “Some days the library. Some days into the city, walk around.”

Paul, sauntering around the city, lying to me, while I worked my ass off on everything...

“Or come home and hit on the neighbor,” I added.

I didn’t really think there was anything going on with them, but I made a note to keep my guard up.

Paul sat back, took off his tie, and rolled it up over his hand. “Come on, Kendra. I can’t right now. You’re doing that thing where you want to pick a fight for the sake of picking a fight. I’m not playing.”

“Picking a fight? I don’t have to pick very far. Considering you’ve been lying straight to my face for a month.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” he said. “I was working on a lead. I thought I could secure something before I had to tell you. But it fell through, just yesterday in fact. I’m sorry.”

Paul was right. I was crabby, picking a fight for no reason other than to control something. Because everything else felt very out of control.

I sat down next to him, weary. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to sob. But somehow, I managed to shut out my thoughts. I was always good at compartmentalizing.

“We’ll figure it out,” I said.

I’d figure it out, at least. I always did. But not until after Halloween.

“I have to admit, it’s a relief I don’t have to hide it anymore,” Paul said. “Do you know how horrible it is to have such a terrible secret?”