It makes Rowan reflect on why he’s doing this with Mal when before he met him he hadn’t had much of an interest in it at all. On why he’s so intrigued by being in control and exerting that control over someone who allows him to do so.

Given the title of the book, it’s not surprising that right out of the gate, it talks about what actually makes someone a good Dominant. And from it he learns that people who put others first, especially when it comes to pleasure, tend to make good Doms.

The book’s author suggests that for him the pleasure of being a Dom comes from the desire to give pleasure to his sub beyond what regular, vanilla sex could accomplish, and to give himself the ability to be in nearly complete control. And when Rowan does some introspection, he finds that both those ideas jive pretty well with him and his reasons for enjoying being a Dom, even with the little experience he has with it so far.

It feels like a confirmation of sorts. Validation, maybe. That he’s not some psycho who gets off on pushing people around, but that the desire to do so comes from the intense, core-deep need to please. He’s never wanted to cause pain or take something from someone that wasn’t freely given. Never wanted to do anything that couldn’t directly be traced back to his innate need to help and take care of others. It’s why he’d wanted to be a doctor when he was younger. Why he’s now a paramedic.

Like he’d told Mal, he wants to heal, not to hurt.

There’s a line in the very beginning of the book that piques his interest and stays in the back of his mind as he devours page after page. Something about sexual appetites being a lot like chocolate sauce on pizza; it’s not for everyone, and people may not understand entirely why they like it, but it doesn’t make their desires any less real or valid.

Rowan thinks that chocolate on pizza sounds pretty gross, but then again he’s sure that some people would find some of his and Mal’s sexual desires gross. Like the fact that they met at a gangbang at a sex club and subsequently agreed to meet up once a week to have filthy sex. Or that Rowan actually likes pineapple on his pizza.

The metaphor makes his brain twist a bit, but what it comes down to is that people have different appetites and that he shouldn’t feel weird about the kinds of things he wants, even if they’re not that out there.