MRS. MOLLOY:

Mr. Hackl!

BARNABY:

We’re as innocent as can be, Mrs. Molloy.

MRS. MOLLOY:

But really! Gentlemen! I can’t have this! What are you doing?

BARNABY:

Cornelius! Cornelius! Pudding?

CORNELIUS:

A shout.

Pudding!

They disappear. Enter from the street MRS. LEVI, followed by MR. VANDERGELDER. VANDERGELDER is dressed in a too-bright checked suit, and wears a green derby—or bowler—hat. He is carrying a large ornate box of chocolates in one hand, and a cane in the other.

MRS. LEVI:

Irene, my darling child, how are you? Heaven be good to us, how well you look!

They kiss.

MRS. MOLLOY:

But what a surprise! And Mr. Vandergelder in New York—what a pleasure!

VANDERGELDER:

Swaying back and forth on his heels complacently.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Molloy.

They shake hands. MRS. MOLLOY brings chair from counter for him. He sits at left of table.

MRS. LEVI:

Yes, Mr. Vandergelder’s in New York. Yonkers lies up there—decimated today. Irene, we thought we’d pay you a very short call. Now you’ll tell us if it’s inconvenient, won’t you?

MRS. MOLLOY:

Placing a chair for Mrs. Levi at right of table.

Inconvenient, Dolly! The idea! Why, it’s sweet of you to come.

She notices the boys’ hats on the table—sticks a spray of flowers into crown of Cornelius’ bowler and winds a piece of chiffon round Barnaby’s panama.

VANDERGELDER:

We waited outside a moment.

MRS. LEVI:

Mr. Vandergelder thought he saw two customers coming in—two men.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Men! Men, Mr. Vandergelder? Why, what will you be saying next?

MRS. LEVI:

Then we’ll sit down for a minute or two. . . .

MRS. MOLLOY:

Wishing to get them out of the shop into the workroom.

Before you sit down—

She pushes them both.

Before you sit down, there’s something I want to show you. I want to show Mr. Vandergelder my workroom, too.

MRS. LEVI:

I’ve seen the workroom a hundred times. I’ll stay right here and try on some of these hats.

MRS. MOLLOY:

No, Dolly, you come too. I have something for you. Come along, everybody.

Exit MRS. LEVI to workroom.

Mr. Vandergelder, I want your advice. You don’t know how helpless a woman in business is. Oh, I feel I need advice every minute from a fine business head like yours.

Exit VANDERGELDER to workroom. MRS. MOLLOY shouts this line and then slams the workroom door.

Now I shut the door!!

Exit MRS. MOLLOY.

CORNELIUS puts his head out of the wardrobe door and gradually comes out into the room, leaving door open.

CORNELIUS:

Hsst!

BARNABY:

Pokes his head out from under the table.

Maybe she wants us to go, Cornelius?

CORNELIUS:

Certainly I won’t go. Mrs. Molloy would think we were just thoughtless fellows. No, all I want is to stretch a minute.

BARNABY:

What are you going to do when he’s gone, Cornelius? Are we just going to run away?

CORNELIUS:

Well . . . I don’t know yet. I like Mrs. Molloy a lot. I wouldn’t like her to think badly of me. I think I’ll buy a hat. We can walk home to Yonkers, even if it takes us all night. I wonder how much hats cost. Barnaby, give me all the money you’ve got.