Do you like this one?

CORNELIUS:

In awe-struck admiration.

Barnaby!

In sudden anger.

Barnaby! Look!

BARNABY turns; unimpressed, he laughs vaguely, and turns to door again.

Mrs. Molloy, that’s the most beautiful hat I ever saw.

BARNABY now crawls under the rail into the window.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Your friend is acting very strangely, Mr. Hackl.

CORNELIUS:

Barnaby, stop acting strangely. When the street’s quiet and empty, come back and talk to us. What was I saying? Oh yes: Mrs. Molloy, you should know Yonkers.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Hat off.

The fact is, I have a friend in Yonkers. Perhaps you know him. It’s always so foolish to ask in cases like that, isn’t it?

They both laugh over this with increasing congeniality.

MRS. MOLLOY goes to counter with hats from table. CORNELIUS follows.

It’s a Mr. Vandergelder.

CORNELIUS:

Stops abruptly.

What was that you said?

MRS. MOLLOY:

Then you do know him?

CORNELIUS:

Horace Vandergelder?

MRS. MOLLOY:

Yes, that’s right.

CORNELIUS:

Know him!

Look to Barnaby.

Why, no. No!

BARNABY:

No! No!

CORNELIUS:

Starting to glide about the room, in search of a hiding place.

I beg your pardon, Mrs. Molloy—what an attractive shop you have!

Smiling fixedly at her he moves to the workshop door.

And where does this door lead to?

Opens it, and is alarmed by the bell which rings above it.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Why, Mr. Hackl, that’s my workroom.

CORNELIUS:

Everything here is so interesting.

Looks under counter.

Every corner. Every door, Mrs. Molloy. Barnaby, notice the interesting doors and cupboards.

He opens the cupboard door.

Deeply interesting. Coats for ladies.

Laughs.

Barnaby, make a note of the table. Precious piece of furniture, with a low-hanging cloth, I see.

Stretches his leg under table.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Taking a hat from box left of wardrobe.

Perhaps your friend might like some of this new Italian straw. Mr. Vandergelder’s a substantial man and very well liked, they tell me.

CORNELIUS:

A lovely man, Mrs. Molloy.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Oh yes—charming, charming!

CORNELIUS:

Smiling sweetly.

Has only one fault, as far as I know; he’s hard as nails; but apart from that, as you say, a charming nature, ma’am.

MRS. MOLLOY:

And a large circle of friends—?

CORNELIUS:

Yes, indeed, yes indeed—five or six.

BARNABY:

Five!

CORNELIUS:

He comes and calls on you here from time to time, I suppose.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Turns from mirror where she has been putting a hat on.

This summer we’ll be wearing ribbons down our back. Yes, as a matter of fact I am expecting a call from him this afternoon.

Hat off.

BARNABY:

I think . . . Cornelius! I think . . .!!

MRS. MOLLOY:

Now to show you some more hats—

BARNABY:

Look out!

He takes a flying leap over the rail and flings himself under the table.

CORNELIUS:

Begging your pardon, Mrs. Molloy.

He jumps into the cupboard.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Gentlemen! Mr. Hackl! Come right out of there this minute!

CORNELIUS:

Sticking his head out of the wardrobe door.

Help us just this once, Mrs. Molloy! We’ll explain later!