Jamie kissed her again and ran his hand over her tummy. It was perfectly flat now, but soon it would start to bulge. He couldn’t wait. There was something so sexy about pregnancy. Right now, he felt so proud of himself. OK, so any idiot could get a woman pregnant – and you only had to turn on the TV on any weekday morning to see exactly how many idiots did manage to make women pregnant – but it was a great feeling to know that he was capable of doing so too. He felt immensely virile and potent. He was helping propagate the species – he felt like beating his chest and making Tarzan noises. Right now he felt like the luckiest man alive, and he wanted to celebrate.

‘Let’s have a bath,’ he said. ‘And then I’ll take you out for a meal.’

They ran the bath and stripped off amid the swirling steam. ‘I’m sure your boobs have grown already,’ Jamie said, as Kirsty settled into the water.

She shook her head. ‘You wish.’

‘Well, they will grow won’t they? God, there’s so much I don’t know about pregnancy and babies. I’ll have to look it up on the net. Soon we probably won’t be able to fit in the bath together.’

‘No. I’m going to get really fat and stay fat and turn into one of those earth mothers. In fact, we’ll have to buy a new, extra large bath because this one won’t be big enough for me. I’ll look like a Buddha, with breasts like water melons.’

‘Fantastic.’

They roared with laughter, and Jamie leaned forward quickly to kiss Kirsty, sending a wave through the water which surged up and splashed over the side of the bath.

‘Oops.’

‘Don’t worry about it. Just kiss me.’

‘So does being pregnant make you feel sexy?’

‘Hmm. Although when I get bigger it’ll be awkward.’

‘We’ll have to try out some new positions.’

‘Hmm.’

He shifted forward and went up onto his knees. As he did this he slipped and banged his hip against the side of the bath.’

‘Ah!’

Kirsty laughed. ‘What a smooth operator.’

‘Hey, you won’t be able to criticise me in front of our child.’

‘No. I shall always have to refer to you as My Hero.’

They laughed again, and immediately heard three loud bangs which echoed through the bathroom.

They stared at the floor.

‘Oh my God, Lucy’s got her broom out,’ said Kirsty. Normally she would have got upset, but today she found it funny. It made her laugh even more loudly, provoking more banging.

‘The witch is banging her broom,’ said Jamie, making a v-sign and aiming it at the floor. ‘She can’t stand the sound of other people’s happiness.’

‘Miserable witch,’ said Kirsty. Then she said it louder: ‘Miserable witch.’