He put his face in his hands. He so wanted to go with her. He knew what she said was right, that it was the most sensible thing to do. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t give in and let Lucy and Chris get away with it. He had to stay – at least until after they had been dealt with. And then Kirsty would come back. Yes, that’s what would happen. He would punish Lucy and Chris – drive them away! – and then Kirsty would come back to him and they would reclaim their paradise. Yes.

‘I can’t.’

She looked away, squeezing her eyes shut to hold back the tears, and carried on with her packing.

A car horn sounded in the street outside. It was Kirsty’s taxi. Jamie felt a shiver of panic. He could still change his mind.

‘Will you carry my case out for me?’

‘Of course.’

He carried the case outside. The taxi driver tried to take it from him but he kept hold of it, putting it into the back of the cab himself. Kirsty opened the door of the taxi and got in.

‘Come with me, Jamie,’ she pleaded.

He couldn’t look at her. ‘I can’t. I have to stay and fight.’

‘You’re being an idiot.’

‘I’ll call you,’ Jamie said. ‘I love you.’

She didn’t reply.

The taxi driver looked back at Kirsty. ‘Where to, my love?’

‘Charing Cross.’

She closed the door of the taxi and looked away. Jamie watched the cab disappear into the night, its engine still audible after it had vanished from sight. He stood on that spot for a long time before turning round and going back into the flat.

Alone.

Chapter Twenty-five

Twenty-five

Jamie picked up the piece of paper, studied the phone number, lifted his phone. His finger hovered over the first digit: 0.

He dialled the number.

He spent the morning working out. The weights and rowing machine that he had bought during the summer had sat in the corner for a while now, untouched, gathering a gossamer skin of dust. He ran his index finger along the barbell, licked the dust from his finger. He lay on his back and lifted the weights above his chest. Up, then down. Up, then down. It hurt but he kept going until his muscles felt like they would combust.