‘I’m often passionate.’

She smiled. ‘Yes, I know. But I don’t mean in that way.’ She paused and sipped her beer. ‘But you’re right – she’s mental. Mad as a bloody hatter.’

‘But what are we going to do?’

‘I don’t…’

The doorbell rang. They froze and looked at each other. ‘Who is it?’ Jamie whispered.

Kirsty stood up and crept to the front window, peering through the crack in the curtains. She turned and faced Jamie, her eyes wide. ‘It’s the police.’

‘She really called them! I don’t believe it.’

‘But this is good, Jamie. It gives us the opportunity to tell them what’s been going on.’

‘You’re right.’

Jamie went out into the hall and opened the front door. Two policemen stood there, one of them looking over his shoulder towards their car, which had already attracted the attention of several children, who crowded round it, peering in through the windows and – in the policeman’s mind – threatening to remove the wheels and smash the headlights.

Jamie said, ‘Can I help?’

The older policeman said, ‘Can we come in, sir?’

Jamie shrugged. ‘Sure.’

They followed him into the flat, the younger policeman seemingly reluctant to leave his car at the mercy of the local hooligans. Eventually, he managed to tear himself away, but it was obvious his mind wasn’t going to be on the job.

‘Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?’ Kirsty offered, as soon as the policemen were inside and Jamie had shut the door.

‘That would be smashing,’ said the older policeman, and his colleague nodded. ‘Yeah, I’d like a tea, please.’

The older man turned to Jamie. ‘I’m PC Dodds, this is PC Sutton. We’ve had a complaint.’

‘We know what this is about,’ Jamie said. ‘And I can tell you right now, it’s all a load of crap, whatever they’ve said about us.’

Sutton wandered across the room and looked at Jamie’s computer, then moved over to the window and looked out in the direction of his car.

‘What do you mean by that?’ said Dodds, having to speak up above the roar of the boiling kettle.

‘Well, tell me what Lucy and Chris said about us and I’ll tell you what I mean.’

Sutton came back towards them. ‘We’ve had a complaint that you were trespassing in your neighbours’ garden.’

Jamie shook his head. ‘I knew it.’ He sighed. ‘This whole thing is a total waste of your time. But I’ll tell you the story from the beginning.’

He waited until the drinks were ready, then gestured for Dodds and Sutton to sit down.