I swallow. Look up at my mom. “Zach will be there.”

She smiles. “Go.”

I look down at my phone, hesitate for a second, and write: Fine. I’ll go.

Lucy’s response is instantaneous. Yes!!!! I’ll pick you up in 20.

“I have to change!” I shove my chair back with more energy than I’ve felt in weeks, then pause. I can’t leave my mom here all alone right after we’ve come back together.

She sees my hesitation. “It’s okay. I promise. Go.”

I swallow and nod. “I miss him, Mom.”

Her eyes fill with tears. “Oh, honey. I miss him too. Every second of every day.”

—

Lucy picks me up, and it takes me several minutes to realize that her drum set isn’t in her backseat.

“Luce, where’s your stuff?”

“Huh?” She glances back, and for a second, I swear she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. “Oh, yeah. My drums. Um, Conor took them for me. I had to get something fixed earlier, but I didn’t have time, so he did it for me.”

I give her a weird look. “Okay…” She’s been shifty and vague since I got in the car. We lapse into silence for a while. The burned-looking landscape of Los Angeles rolls by, the green of the palm trees bright against the beige of the underwatered grass. I think about Jordan and my mom and Zach and what I could possibly say to him to make him understand.

We turn onto a long road, heading up into the hills of Topanga Canyon, and I glance over at Lucy. “Where are we going?”

“We’re almost there.” Her half answers are starting to freak me out. Outside the car, the night is dark. There are no streetlights. We’re bumping along some half-paved road to god knows where.

“Luce, where are you taking me? I’m serious. I can’t handle any surprises right now.” My entire body is tensing back up. I can’t believe I let her talk me into leaving the house. This was a mistake, just like most things I do. When will I learn?

She glances over, and I must have a petrified expression on my face. She decides to take pity on me. “I told you. I have a show.”

“In the middle of nowhere?” I can’t believe she would do this to me, and right now, of all times.

She shakes her head. “Chill. Just trust me, okay?”

We pull into a steep driveway, and when we get to the top, Lucy manages to wedge her car into one of the only spaces left. There are a bunch of cars up here, at least fifteen or so, parked haphazardly on the gravel outside a barnlike structure. It looks like a hobbit’s house. “This is where you guys are playing?” I raise my eyebrows at her, skeptical.