I laughed. ‘That’s the correct answer,’ I said, and we laughed some more.

‘Whoa,’ Patrick marvelled later, dipping his crust into the mayonnaise I’d ordered, fully on board with it being a non-negotiable part of pizza eating now. ‘When you said you’d been dumped, I never for a second thought …’

We were officially into the evening, and our chat had been saved from becoming too slurred by the food we’d stuffed ourselves with. As we’d eaten, I’d spilled the beans on exactly why I was now single. He’d asked outright, emboldened by the beer and easy banter, and I hadn’t wanted to lie. I’d told him everything.

‘That I got dumped whilst wearing a big white dress? I know. It’s probably the most dramatic thing that has ever happened to me.’

‘It’s probably the most dramatic thing that’s happened to anybody, ever. I am so, so sorry.’

I wiped my hands on a napkin and pushed my plate away from me. I hadn’t realized how starving I was. We paid the bill and meandered down to a converted warehouse Patrick knew about where we could play mini golf and eat candyfloss. It was good to stretch my legs – we’d been sat in that booth for almost six hours.

‘And they really want you to take the honeymoon as a holiday?’

‘It’s such a hard conversation to have. I just feel so … awkward. They’re so apologetic about what Alexander did, but it’s wasted. They’re not the ones who did something wrong.’

‘It’s sweet they’d try.’

We took our putters and our balls and waited in line to start the course.

‘Do I sound awful if I say it feels selfish of them? They want me to tell them I’m okay, but I’m not. And possibly that makes them feel ashamed of their son, or that maybe they could have stopped all this from happening. But that can’t be my problem, can it? I make everything my responsibility but just lately, since all this …’

‘The sod-it function has kicked in?’

I smiled. ‘Exactly. I’ve done everything like I was supposed to, my whole life. I’ve been a good girl, and studied hard, and done all the right extra-curricular stuff. I’ve kept in shape, I went to a good university, I see my friends and try to cook and read and watch all the TV I’m supposed to watch. I’ve moulded myself to be as nice and non-confrontational as possible, and for what? I’ve ended up a fool. I just don’t have it in me to do anything other than live in self-protection mode now. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to manage anybody else’s emotions. Only mine.’