The three of them let me take a moment to find the courage to admit I knew they were right. Alexander always came first in our relationship. That was true. But I just wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to get the promotion, and go out with the boys to let off steam when work was hard, and to relax at home because home should be a place where a person can do that. I never nagged him, because I didn’t want to play that role. It was worse to ask him to repeatedly do something – unload the dishwasher, or put together the new drawers for the spare room, or take the laundry out of the machine – than it was to just do it myself. Anything to avoid an argument.

He told me he loved me and said I was the best thing to ever happen to him, but I couldn’t lie to myself anymore: for a decade I’d pushed away the thought that I’d prefer him to show it rather than say it. I never told him that, though, because it sounded too much like an emotional burden. I didn’t want to be an emotional burden to my partner. I wanted to be his respite, not his problem. I thought that was what everyone did for their person. I thought that was how you showed love to someone.

‘It must feel horrible right now,’ Bri said, kindly. ‘I said to Angus: if the secret to happiness is having someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for, he’s just robbed you of two of those things.’

‘No,’ said Kezza. ‘We love you and you love us. The only thing he’s taken is the hope. But that will come back. You can hope for other things, eventually.’

‘How?’ I said. ‘I feel so humiliated. I can’t ever imagine smiling, or laughing, or dating – oh God. Do I have to start dating?’

Kezza growled, ‘If he tries to kick you out the house, by the way, I will go after him, I swear.’

‘I’ll have to leave eventually,’ I said. ‘It’s his, after all.’

‘Yes,’ agreed Bri. ‘But you can make that move in your own time. No hurry. We’ll make sure he doesn’t rush you. If he’s abroad …’

‘Do you really think he is?’

‘Maybe. I don’t know.’

‘You should paint a big black mark on my back so everyone knows I’m damaged goods,’ I said. ‘A warning to everyone that, at any moment, I might snap.’

‘We’ve got you, okay? But, honey, I need you to listen really closely when I say this,’ said Kezza.

‘I’m listening,’ I replied.

‘You have to tell us what you need. We’re not mind-readers. We’re good, but we’re not psychic, okay? It’s time to learn to ask for help.’