‘Just go!’ she said, and before I knew it I was ringing his bell, resisting the urge to peer through his front bay window in case we locked eyes through the glass and then he decided not to let me in.

It opened.

‘Patrick,’ I said, and then I didn’t say anything because between Freddie’s call to arms in my kitchen and being stood there in front of him maybe ten minutes had passed, and in that ten minutes I hadn’t really thought beyond getting to his place.

‘Hi,’ he said, looking around me and noticing Freddie up on the pavement. ‘Hey, Freddie,’ he said, confusion leaking from his voice.

‘I messed up,’ I said. ‘And I have come to say sorry. And also, depending on how that apology goes, I’ve also come to say … I got scared. But. Basically. Well. The thing is …’

‘Say it!’ cried Freddie.

‘I love you,’ I said. ‘I love you! There. God, that feels really good. Patrick, I love you, and I am sorry that I pushed you away. You are not my past. You’re YOU! And I love you for it!’

I was breathing heavily, but couldn’t tell if it was from the run or the rush of emotion.

Suddenly, my eyes adjusted and I could see cardboard boxes just over his shoulder. I realized he was holding packing tape in his hands. He looked down at his hands too, understanding that I was piecing things together, and looked embarrassed.

‘Are you … moving?’ I said.

He shook his head.

‘Not exactly.’ He stepped back so I could see into his hallway, and added, ‘Do you want to come in?’

I nodded. I was very aware that I’d declared my undying love, and he hadn’t said it back. He hadn’t really said anything.

‘Freddie,’ he called to her. ‘Do you want to come in?’

Freddie skipped down the steps to join us. She looked from me, to him, to the boxes, and knew better than to ask any questions.

Patrick fussed about getting us all a glass of water, which we gulped down like we were wise men wandering a desert and hadn’t seen H2O in days.

‘Can I go and look at your books?’ Freddie said, once she was done, and I wanted to squeeze her until her head popped off for her emotional insight, knowing it was time to give Patrick and me a minute alone.

‘So, the boxes …?’ I asked, and he pulled up a chair to sit opposite me.

‘This is your first time here,’ he said, as way of reply.

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘I said to Freddie I’d never actually been in here. I never thought anything of it until today.’

‘Your place is so much bigger.’

‘Was,’ I countered. ‘Today is moving day.’