‘And I can understand that. But, babe, that’s not your responsibility. That’s what you’ve learned after all of this, isn’t it? You’re not really making him happy if you’re sacrificing your own happiness. He’s a big boy. Whatever you need, you have to tell him. His reaction is his business.’

‘You’re right,’ I said. ‘I know you are.’ I pondered it some more. ‘But first: somewhere to live. Then I can decide what I think about Patrick, and Mum, and everything else that’s keeping me awake at night.’

‘Why put off today what you can put off tomorrow?’

‘Exactly,’ I said, licking the last of the jam from my fingers.

I spent the rest of the day trawling through websites looking for a flat that wouldn’t cost my whole monthly paycheque, texting Patrick to say I was seeing the Core Four when actually I wanted to be alone. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that to him – I don’t think he’d have minded. The lie just slipped out.

I was getting increasingly frustrated at the cost of a studio in London. It was all very well talking about how I disliked my job and wanted to retrain, but no way would I be able to afford to do that and live on my own. I knew that was a privileged problem to have. It’s not like I was risking true homelessness or in need of a food bank. My version of hardship was middle-class hardship. But it still felt unfair, having to choose. I refused to consider a flat-share though. It was fun when I was younger but being relegated to a shelf in a shared fridge, or having to queue for the bathroom in the morning … nope. No way. Grown-ups made choices, didn’t they, and my choice was to live alone, even if that put the kibosh on other plans I’d hope to make.

‘So stay at work longer than you thought you would,’ Adzo encouraged me as we took a morning walk to view one of the places I’d found that was mercifully in my budget. ‘Give less of yourself to work but still take the paycheque, and train in your spare time.’

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘I suppose I just had this idea in my head of quitting my job and doing something I love and decorating a cute flat and everything going my way.’

‘Mate,’ Adzo intimated. ‘Everything is going your way! Keep your job, have the cute flat, and take the leap in a year, or eighteen months. You never know what else life might have in store for you. What’s the rush?’