As the sky got lighter I circled around the back streets and up through the park – my old running route. I couldn’t wait to have Carol back from Mum and Dad’s so I could walk with her again. She’d fill the house with more life, too. The cold made my breath visible in front of me and I blew shapes like I was a kid, and by the time I got near the high street one of the cafés was starting to show early signs of life, so to avoid going home I slipped in for a caffeine fix and a scroll of my phone, doing what I thought of as my ‘correspondence’: replying to all the texts I’d missed when I was away.

I ordered a pot of tea and messaged Freddie to tell her I’d see her at the weekend, when we came to pick up Carol. I asked if I could get some dog content in the meantime – photos and videos to keep me going. In the Core Four WhatsApp I scrolled through everything that had gone back and forth in my absence, filling myself in on Kezza’s family-finding progress with her social worker, Brianna’s husband’s new boss and Jo’s continued obsession with rewatching Mork and Mindy because, ‘Nobody does it like Robin Williams. I miss him!’ She was due any day now and desperate to fill up her time to take her mind off it. I let them know I was back and asked when the next Core Four summit would be, assuming it would be after the baby came. I didn’t tell them that Patrick and I were girlfriend-and-boyfriend official. All I knew is that inevitably Kezza had let slip about the kiss, and I reiterated in the thread that any stories I had to tell would have to be done in person, adding in a winky emoji to whet their appetites.

I texted Fernanda to ask if I could stop by soon with some Aussie thank-you souvenirs, and I texted Dad and Mum separately to say I was home safe, and briefly logged on to Instagram but immediately logged off because within three seconds it made me feel icky. Freddie had said to me before: Annie, everyone knows privacy is the new luxury. Only old people post about their lives anymore. I didn’t have the patience for the highlight reels of other people.