On the way there, the two of them talked about how strange it would be to meet Mr Clemm properly and how unusual he sounded when he spoke.

‘I noticed it the other week,’ Mum said. ‘He enunciates the final syllable of every word very firmly. I can’t remember hearing anybody speak in quite that way.’

I didn’t reply. I was too busy telling myself I wasn’t going to be fatally embarrassed, over and over again.

‘Alfie,’ Mum said, ‘why are you muttering?’

Halfway Lane was having a hot summer’s day. When we got to Mr Clemm’s door, the full horror of this whole mangled plan hit me in the stomach. Breathing in big gulps of air helped, but when Mum pressed the strange old-fashioned crab-shaped doorbell, the panic rose right up into my mouth.

Mum’s eyes were out on stalks at the fossilised metal graveyard surrounding us, but when the door opened, we all spoke at once.

I said, ‘Sorry, but we’ve all come …’ at the same time as Mum said, ‘I hope we’re not intruding …’ and Lily said, ‘Hello, Mr Clemm!’

My heart was beating fast. I’m sure my lips twitched.

Mr Clemm just stood there smiling in a very tall way.

25

The Giant’s House

Inside, things were dark and crammed. Old furniture. Messy books and papers. Instruments on the walls – a barometer, a compass, and things I didn’t recognise that looked like they belonged on a ship. The smell was fusty: coal fires, ink, dusty old carpets … and horses. I’d imagined this house. I’d dreamed it, and now we were here.

He led us to the kitchen at the back and when we got there, a long, horrible silence took over. Mr Clemm swayed backwards and forwards on his huge legs and seemed to have no more idea of what to say than I did. Mum started small talk about the weather, which broke Mr Clemm’s awkwardness a bit. He buried himself in making a big pot of tea and looked at Mum sideways a couple of times. He didn’t meet my eyes at all.

Nobody sat down, because we hadn’t been told to. Nobody except Julia, that is. She was sitting tall on a kitchen chair, as if waiting for her dinner. Everything ordinary was right next to everything strange: table, chairs, hairless cat. Kettle, teapot, gigantic man with contraptions and mini-zoo.

Then Mum got specific and my heart sank further. ‘Alfie tells me you need him to help you with a beast!’

Mr Clemm looked flustered.

‘Is it dangerous?’ asked Mum bluntly. ‘What is it?’

‘Well,’ Mr Clemm hid his face by rummaging for teaspoons. ‘It’s a … It’s hard to say. It’s very … unusual.’

‘Is it a big creature?’