‘Well, it rather depends …’ Mr Clemm opened his arms wide and looked from one hand to the other, but he probably shouldn’t have, because his outstretched arms just looked absolutely ginormous, and Mum frowned. Lily and I locked eyes.

Then, unbelievably, Lily came to the rescue. She did it in classic Lily smooth-and-innocent style. ‘Mr Clemm,’ she said, ‘do you think I could see the animals?’

Short, neat, and the way she said I and not we was genius. Mum could either stay and make more awkward talk, or look after Lily. I was grateful – my head frothed with it – but at the same time, I felt like ducking. This was Lily. There had to be a catch.

‘Do you like birds?’ Mr Clemm asked. Lily nodded. ‘Then meet Lysander. He’s my hornbill.’

He opened a door to the side of the kitchen, called out, ‘Lysander!’ and in came a big bird with a long curved beak and an orange head, walking like a little man. I sprang backwards into the table as it said, ‘ARRRK!’ My hands automatically crossed my chest. Lily laughed.

‘ARK AK AK!’

‘Visitors, Lysander,’ Mr Clemm said. ‘Behave, now.’

Lysander. A bit like a parrot, a bit like a toucan, but not quite like either. That monstrous bird … Spiteful-looking creature, Mr Lombard had said. This was that bird. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh so much, it hurt. I put a hand over my mouth and glanced at Lily, who was doing the same.

‘Do you take him for night walks sometimes?’ I asked. ‘Because I was looking through my window once and thought I saw you with a bird …’

‘Oh, no – that wouldn’t be Lysander. That’s Godrell. He’s a great bustard. He likes to go for midnight walks. Doesn’t get on with Lysander, though, so he lives outside. Only comes in for the odd treat.’

Lysander shifted slowly from one foot to the other as Lily held out her hand and made clicking noises. He swivelled his eyes between all of us without moving his head, then looked straight at me and bit my jeans gently with the tip of his beak. He tugged. I kept still and smelt his warm, vinegary scent. Then he let go and locked eyes with Lily, but his beak stayed open.

‘He just likes to get acquainted,’ Mr Clemm said.

I couldn’t wait to see who would look away first – nobody can outstare Lily – but Lysander went to stand right next to her, almost underneath her, and Lily grinned at all of us.

‘Oh,’ said Mum, ‘he’s found his lady, hasn’t he?’