I offered my best grin, the one I saved for unruly patrons and squirrelly drug dealers. “Keep the past in the past. Don’t do anything to screw it up like before.”

“I’ve no intention of screwing anything up.”

“Nobody ever plans to fuck up.” The beer tasted weak, too watery for my tastes. “I know how hard atonement can be. Everyone wants to judge you for your past.”

“This is friendly advice?” he asked.

“You know me better than that.” I laughed. “It’s a promise. I’ll fuck you up bad if you mess with Brit or share the old days during some pillow-talk session.”

“It’s in both our interests if I don’t.”

“That’s right.” I rose, tossed two twenties on the table. “Best of luck tonight. She’s a fine woman but a real ballbuster.”

38 MARISA

38

MARISA

Friday, March 18, 2022

7:15 p.m.

“Did you know Clare was pregnant?” I asked Brit the instant she opened her front door.

Brit was taken aback by me and my question. I’d not called because I knew she’d put me off. She was fine with showing up at my place unannounced, but that shoe never fit well on the other foot.

“Yes, I knew. Dad told me when he was sick two years ago.” Brit averted her gaze and opened her door wider, already tensing at the idea a neighbor might hear. “Come in. I’d rather not have this conversation on my front porch. Neighbors are nosy.”

I stood my ground, not caring whether the whole damn neighborhood heard me. She wasn’t telling me the entire truth. “Why was I left out of the loop?”

“Inside or we don’t talk.”

I stepped into the foyer, and she closed the door behind me. “Dad only told me because he was sick,” she said softly. “Dying churned up a lot of regrets for him. Though that man had many reasons for remorse, that one rose to the top. And as I remember, two years ago, you were drinking heavily.”

“I’ve been sober a year.”

“And learning your dead sister was pregnant would’ve helped you how?”

“I had a right to know.”

“I didn’t want to challenge your delicate hold on sobriety.”

“I had a right to know. She was my sister. My twin.”

“You don’t get the rights of an adult when you’re high.” Her sharp words lingered between us before she drew in a breath. “Look, I feared if you knew there was a baby, it would be too much.”

“The baby could have been the reason she was killed,” I said.