‘She might be,’ Romy replied uncertainly. Because Anezka hadn’t visited in the last couple of days, only kept in touch with Leo on the mobile. But even if she did come in, Romy was having trouble imagining Anezka picking out which Zimmer frame would be most suitable for Michael. As she stood watching the retreating figure of the staff nurse, she suddenly felt frighteningly alone, like a drowning person. The finger of responsibility seemed to be pointing directly, inexorably, at her.

15

It had been a tearful reunion with Rex on Thursday, the three of them hugging each other in mute bewilderment when he arrived, dazed from his twenty-four hours of travel. But being there to welcome her son in the place the boys still thought of as home felt strange without Michael, especially as now she considered the Sussex cottage her home. As a family they seemed disoriented, not sure what to do with themselves.

Later that day Rex and Leo took over from her at Michael’s bedside. She needed to go to the flat to collect clean pyjamas and his shaving soap. ‘Meet me at five thirty across the road?’ she asked her sons. She needed to talk urgently to them – in the wake of the staff nurse’s bombshell – and do it away from their father’s hearing. At least they could get a decent cup of tea and a piece of cake in the café opposite the hospital.

Now her sons gazed at her expectantly from the other side of the rough wooden table. She had a sudden flashback to their youth, their faces barely changed, in her eyes, since they were small boys, and felt an overwhelming love for them both.

‘OK, so Staff Nurse Weeks collared me earlier. She’s already talking about the plan for when your dad gets out,’ she said.

Rex glanced sideways at his brother. His hazel eyes – always with a slightly dreamy, faraway look – were underscored with dark circles from the jetlag. It was so lovely to see him again, although he seemed different, even in the six months he’d been gone, almost foreign with his surfer-style clothes, his tan and longer, salt-bleached waves. All of which were so out of place in the grey city light. She wondered how long he would stay: her heart was already steeling itself at the thought he would soon be gone again.

‘Anezka has said she can’t be involved,’ Leo stated flatly.

Frowning, Romy asked, ‘Already?’

Leo shrugged. ‘We left her with Dad earlier because Rex needed a smoke. Then we grabbed a coffee so she could have some time alone with him. But on our way back in, she came flying out of the revolving doors, almost in tears. Apparently one of the nurses had tried to talk to her about Dad’s rehab and she freaked, told them she had nothing to do with it. Said she was just a friend.’ Leo raised his eyebrows.