Tom sighed and poured himself another glass of Coke. ‘You’ll think it’s daft,’ he said with a self-deprecating smile.

‘I’m sure I won’t.’

Tom held his glass in two hands and turned it slowly, his eyes focused upon the liquid swirling gently inside. ‘My mum died having a baby…’

‘I’m sorry, Tom,’ she said. It was all she could do not to scoop him into her arms and hold him. The poor mite, what must he have been through? The thought of it brought a lump to her throat.

He tipped his head back as if willing tears not to fall. ‘The baby got stuck and she had some sort of fit.’

‘Eclampsia?’ offered Maggie.

‘I dunno,’ said Tom. He glanced at Maggie, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. ‘I was at my grandparents’ and Dad was at work.’ Tom took his time. ‘Dad should have been at home but he had taken some overtime. There was lots of whispering when Dad came to collect me. I remember being really excited because they’d promised me this Lego set when the baby arrived.’ He turned to look at Maggie. ‘Dad’s face when he came in.’ He shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the memory. ‘He looked broken.’

‘How awful.’ Maggie’s heart ached for both of them and what they had lost.

‘When Dad told me about Mum and the baby I remember worrying that I might not get my Lego set. How twisted is that?’ Tom’s young face changed to resemble someone much older and more weather-beaten by life.

‘We often think of the oddest, most irrelevant things, at difficult times. We seek out the little things we can cope with while we process the things we can’t.’

‘I guess,’ he said.

They sat in silence for a while both lost in their own thoughts until the kitchen timer rang and brought them both back to the present.

21

TOM

The last two weeks have gone uber quick. I’ve been trying to revise but I don’t think it’s going into my thick head. GCSEs are only a couple of weeks away now and it all feels a bit real. Mr Thackery was telling us we needed to have a healthy meal and a good night’s sleep before exams. Dad and I are still on the beans and fish fingers diet. Dad’s quite happy. He’s counting down to my last GCSE. He’s more excited about me finishing my exams than I am. That’s because he thinks I’m going to get an apprenticeship at the factory. I’m not but I’ve not managed to tell him yet. It’s too hard.

‘All right?’ I said as I stuck my head around the living room door. The place remained a mess but the smell had improved.