I took a breath. ‘I um. I…’ Deep breath. ‘I’m looking for books.’ Well that sentence was the work of a complete genius. I tried a brief smile. ‘Didn’t you used to have sections? Like crime and romance?’ I couldn’t keep eye contact any longer. It was exhausting.

‘Yes, we did but this seems to work quite well. We have sections for new releases by genre over there.’ She indicated the shelves by the door. ‘And there’s quick reads, large print and audio next to them.’ I’d completely missed those.

‘Right, thanks.’ I glanced up briefly and hoped she’d see me as a lost cause and give up.

‘I saw you looking at the Sophie Kinsella.’

‘What?’ I remembered the pink book on the shelf behind me. Kill me now. If spontaneous combustion is real let it happen to me this instant. My head was definitely hot enough to explode.

‘If you’re looking for romance books…’ I was already shaking my overheating head. ‘Say, for someone else…’ Why didn’t I think of that? ‘We’ve a Mills and Boon stand.’ She pointed to a carousel nearby. ‘And all other romance, like historical and contemporary, is filed in with general fiction but I could suggest some authors if you like?’ She was keen – this was beyond bad.

What do I do? I opened my mouth and did an excellent goldfish impression. The librarian leaned a little closer with a conspiratorial look in her eyes. ‘Did your mum send you to get her a book?’

I nodded like a car’s nodding dog racing over speed bumps. ‘Yeah, my mum, she’s…’ Think of something plausible. Dead is not a good reason to need a library book. ‘At work.’ My eyes pinged wide with the revelation that I had given a good answer. I repeated my lie for good measure. ‘She’s at work.’ At last the sweating reduced.

The librarian looked rather proud of herself. She rolled her eyes. ‘What are mums like, eh?’ I shrugged as I joined her in collusion. This was great. ‘What’s her name? I’ll pull up her records just so I can see what sort of thing she usually takes out.’

Argh! This couldn’t be happening. The sweating returned like a tsunami. Think of something. She was giving me an odd look. I’d left it too long for what should have been quite an easy question for a sixteen-year-old to answer. THINK. I glanced around for inspiration. There was a sign on the wall about borrowing e-books. ‘Kindle!’ I almost shouted making the woman jolt away from me slightly. I swallowed and tried to compose my lie. ‘She usually reads e-books but her Kindle died.’

The librarian smiled again. I wasn’t smiling. I could probably have wrung my T-shirt out. ‘Ah, I see. Have you got a library card?’