‘That lamb. The one the farmer had…’

‘Ah. Pitiful little mite. Sometimes they get stuck and you can’t save them. Other times they’re already dead. Given how many his flock will produce this season the number he’ll lose will be very low.’

‘It’s sad though. Isn’t it?’ I said. It had looked like a child’s toy hanging at his side. All perfect and yet lifeless.

‘That’s nature I’m afraid, Tom. It’s neither cruel nor kind just pitilessly indifferent.’

Maggie was well wise.

*

Dad didn’t reply to my text from the bus but at least he was up and dressed when I got in. He was having an argument with someone on the phone. He waved hello to me but then shut himself in the kitchen. That meant it was most likely about money. Did he think I was blind or stupid? The red bills had been coming in for months now and I knew things weren’t getting any better. If he stopped spending so much on alcohol we’d be better off although I’d never tell him that. But then he doesn’t spend it on anything else for himself. My mate’s dad goes to the football every week and his season ticket costs, like, a thousand pounds. At least Dad wasn’t spending that sort of money.

I heard him raise his voice. He wasn’t happy. And then it went quiet. He opened the door. ‘There’s fish fingers for tea and I’ve left you some beans in the saucepan,’ he said.

‘Thanks. Is everything okay?’ I felt I should ask.

‘Not really. No. I missed a mortgage payment. I’ve had that mortgage for well over ten years but the bank got all arsey about it.’ His face looked more tired than I remembered. He looked older too somehow. It was like I hadn’t had a good look at him for a few years.

‘What happens now?’

He sniffed. ‘Not much. I have to pay a bit extra each month to catch up the payments I’ve missed.’

He said payments plural. That couldn’t be good. I know he said the only times he and Mum argued were about money so things have never been great on that score but now he’s drinking more and more we have even less. ‘How many payments have you missed?’

He took a while to answer. ‘Three in the last year.’ He could see I was alarmed because he held his hands up. ‘Which is fine. As long as I don’t miss any more.’

‘Are we going to lose the house?’ I didn’t like the tight feeling in my chest. It was hard to breathe.