‘Didn’t you wonder where I was?’ As far as he knew I was hours late in from school and I’d had no tea.

He shrugged and went back in to the kitchen to hastily zip up his bag. ‘I figured you’d be out with your mates celebrating the end of the exams.’ He heaved the bag onto his shoulder and came to face me in the hall. I was a fraction taller than him. I’m not sure when that happened.

‘The exams don’t finish until Friday morning.’ And what mates were these? I wondered. He had no idea about my life but even now, after he was off the alcohol, he wasn’t interested in finding out. I think that made it hurt a bit more. At least before he had an excuse.

‘Oh. Right. Are you going out?’ he asked.

‘No.’ I tried not to sound irritated but it was hard. ‘I’ve just got in and I have no mates to go out with.’

‘Right. Night then.’ He put his head down and left me standing in the hall. I heard the click of the key in the lock and it made an odd sensation run through me. I hated being alone here at night. I’d never liked it but it was worse now, more obvious somehow. I took a deep breath and went to make myself some food and set about some final revision. My life was one big party.

*

I was having breakfast when Dad came in from work. ‘There you go!’ he said triumphantly plonking a typed letter down in front of me and patting it for emphasis.

‘What’s this?’

‘Read it,’ he said standing over me proudly. Why couldn’t he just tell me?

I skim-read the first bit. The letter was addressed to me. It was confirming my interview for an apprenticeship at the dog food factory. ‘What the—?’ I stared at it as something burned in my gut.

He slapped me on the back. ‘You’re welcome.’

How could he still be going on about this? ‘But, Dad…’

‘You said your last exam was Friday morning. This is for the afternoon. They had someone drop out.’

‘I wonder why?’

‘Dunno.’ My sarcasm was lost on him. He scanned me up and down. ‘You can wear your school uniform but maybe tidy yourself up.’

All kinds of alarm bells were echoing in my ears. ‘Dad, look, I am grateful for you sorting this out but—’

‘Don’t mess it up.’ He wagged a finger at me and looked slightly menacing for a second, which reminded me of when he was drinking. ‘Don’t look so worried. I’m joking. You’ll be fine.’