BooksBarbecue
Back The Library
Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. THE LIBRARY
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. Contents
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. 41
  47. 42
  48. 43
  49. 44
  50. 45
  51. 46
  52. 47
  53. EPILOGUE
  54. Questions for your Book Club
  55. Acknowledgements
  56. About the Author
  57. Become an Aria Addict

I was furious. I’d wound myself up into a frenzy. ‘I thought you’d done it again! What’s wrong with you?’ I banged my fists down on the bed but the duvet cushioned them and it did little to release the tension that had built up inside me.

‘I was asleep.’

‘I thought you were dead. I thought you’d choked!’ I couldn’t stop the tears that streamed down my face. Partly relief but a whole lot of temper was coursing through me. How could he be like this? Where had my dad gone? I slumped to the floor and clutched at the duvet. I wanted my mum. I needed her. More than I ever had before. I hugged the duvet as if it were her. I wished it was. I needed to feel her hold me. To make me feel safe again. To sort everything out. But she wasn’t coming. She was gone and she’d taken so much with her. It was like I was finding more and more things missing from my life. I’d lost my mother but I’d also lost my friend, my safe space, the person who comforted me and, worst of all, the feeling of being loved. I sobbed and I didn’t care. I cried for her as well as for the mess my life had become without her.

‘Tom?’ His voice had softened dramatically. I couldn’t speak. I felt him move down the bed and come and sit on the end by me. He put his hand on my head.

I lurched away. ‘Get away from me!’ I shouted at him through the sobs. ‘You’ve ruined everything. You should have been there for Mum. You weren’t there and she died. You should have been there. You could have saved her. This is all your fault.’ I scrambled to my feet. My head was pounding and tears dripped off my chin. ‘She’s dead and it’s all your fault!’

‘Tom?’ His face crumpled like he was going to cry too. ‘Why are you being like this?’

It took a few breaths. I stopped shouting and stared at him. He was sitting on the end of the bed in a dirty T-shirt and old pants. I was calmer but my breathing was still erratic. ‘I hate you.’ I said it clearly and firmly so he knew I meant it.

‘Tom?’ I turned away from him and walked out, picking up my bag I’d dropped on the landing. I almost fell down the stairs in my rush to escape. I slammed the door as I left and went to get the bus back to Maggie’s.

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